"Help! The girl I like won't respond to my emails!"
"This is a series of confessional anecdotes posted by an anonymous user on the japanese message board 2channel in 2011. Over the course of five threads, a self-declared college male poster describe...
OP: There's this girl I've had feelings for since highschool, and now we're in college together. We'll call her Denko. Once we hit second year, we went out drinking, and I worked up the courage to exchange numbers. We started out talking often, but she hasn't answered me in three days now. I'm getting depressed just thinking that Denko might be sick, or something happened to her... ('･ω･') Please, somebody give me some advice.
2ch: SHE DOESN'T LIKE YOU. GIVE IT UP.
2ch: Maybe it's 'cause email's a pain in the butt.
OP: Well, I called her too in case she was sick or something happend..('･ω･') Maybe this last emal i sent did something to hurt Denko's feelings? Give me your opinion here... "Yahoo! Good weather today. You haven't emailed me or called me, so I'm just sending this since I'm worried. Did I do something bad? PS. The stars were pretty last night"
2ch: (RAMEN POSTS)
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OP: wh....This isn't a thread about ramen ok?! I'm beggin you, I need advice! I haven't slept for an entire day...
2ch: Just hypothetically, what would you think if you got an email like that from an ugly girl you don't have any interest in?
OP: Um...Well, I wouldn't like it. But I've had my eye on Denko since highschool, and... I don't know how to say it, But I think it might be mutual....('･ω･')
2ch: Pretty sure she hates you and is too shy to say it...
2ch: I'll divine OP and his girl's love from her Birthday. Post OP's Birthday too, if possible.
OP: My birthday's March 10th, Denko's is September 7th...
2ch: To be perfectly honest, your email's sound incredibly shifty. That's why everyone is talking about ramen instead...
OP: Sorry, I haven't had much experience talking to girls...('･ω･')
2ch: So you got responses before? What kind of emails are you sending? It could be, you know, interesting...
OP: At first, we just talked about how strange it was we only started emailing in college despite being in the same year of highschool. What I'm sending....Well, I'm worried about her lack of reply, so I've sent around 600 emails. There mistly reports on my current state, I guess..?('･ω･')
2ch: sending 600 emails out of worry from the lack of response.... How spammy can you get...
OP: don't make fun of me okay! I don't have any friends, so youre the only people I can ask about this!
2ch:....0-0
OP: 600 emails and still no reply, so I'm really thinking something might have happened... ('･ω･') And I really don't think they're getting anything that would displease her. They're like this: "I'm drinking jasmine tea right now, thinking about what to have for dinner." Maybe they're a little too incidental?
2ch: Troll sighted. And if you're not? Give it up.
2ch: He knows he doesn't have any friends. Oozes human filth right down to his emotions. And sending 600 emails in three days is stalker-level creepy....
OP: Alright, alright, maybe people think I'm creepy! But even so, I'm really, honestly in love with this girl! You understand, right? I'll try not to be as creepy about it from now on! So please, give me advice on how to get Denko to respond!
2ch: You seriously sent 600 emails in three days? lol
OP: Well, I think it was around 50 the first two days...('･ω･')
2ch: Why would she respond if she wasn't dumping you? If something happened, maybe her power went out! Try calling her up, it should at least get her attention.
OP: All right, I'll try calling her. But I'm awful at talking, so give me something to talk about,
2ch: I want to see your conversations were like when you got replies.
OP: Me: "What do you do for fun? What do you listen to? I like watching lots of movies and reading lots of books, I guess...('･ω･') Denko: "Ummm, I dunno. You sure use a lot of emoticons huh?" that sort of thing.
2ch: LOL, wow did she cut things short... Did It ever go on any longer than that?
OP: Me: "Do girls do the thing where you turn socks inside-out to use them for a week?" Denko: "No, thats to dirty. I usually wash them after a day." Me: "Well, Denko's socks can't possibly be as dirty! Unlike mine...('･ω･') " Denko: "Do you really weat the same socks for a week?" Me: "No, uh, I heard it from a friend." Like that.
OP: I'M CALLING HER NOW
OP: SHES ON
2ch. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE, DENKO!!
OP: OH GOD I WAS SO NERVOUS I PANIKED AND HUNG UP ON HER.. (';ω; ' )
