I know I'm very lucky. I have two parents, even though they're never home. I go to school, even though I'm mistreated. I have a nice house, even though it's always empty and dark. I have food, even though I don't eat. I have friends, I think.
I'm colorblind. No, it's not like a black and white film. I just have trouble seeing the difference between certain colors. Everything is dull in my eyes.
Everything is sad and slow in my brain.
My mom says it's depression. My dad says it's a phase. The therapist says "How do you feel?" and I say "Well, I feel just like I did last week and the week before that, normal."
It's not their fault they aren't home a lot. They work. It's hard to earn enough money for a nice house, food, themselves, and their daughter.
They say, "If we move to a smaller town, it would be much cheaper." "Yeah, let's take that into consideration," but I know that they would never be able to leave Evergreen. I don't mind. I understand why.
Today, school kind of sucked, but only as it always does. Usually, the guys don't give a fuck about me, not that it really matters. I'm not trying to impress. The girls though, they like to engage in mental aggression rather than physical aggression. This may seem better than a punch in the face but trust me, it's 20x worse. They make you feel like you're truly the worst person who has ever existed.
I just can't wait to get out of there.
I got home and laid on my bed, with my face looking up at my ceiling. I spent a lot of time in my room. Posters and quotes of all kind flooded the walls. On my nightstand, there was a single picture of me and my brother. My brother who passed away. I was eight, he was thirteen. He had cancer. I didn't understand very well at the time. One day, he just disappeared.
We moved to this house when I was six. Lincoln, my brother, was eleven. The doctors recommended this neighborhood because of the good hospitals. Lincoln was diagnosed with brain cancer when he was ten. My parents really suffered with money at that time.
Sometimes I cry. If he was here, it probably wouldn't be so lonely. Maybe. But I barely even knew him. This was seven years ago after all. I was only eight.
Sometimes I wish it was me and not him. This world is cruel. Sometimes I don't want to be here anymore. I regret it almost imminently when I remember the pain he suffered.
"If you can hear me," I start, sitting down with my face in my hands. "I just wanted to let you know that I miss you, Lincoln. Mom and dad miss you too, but I miss you so much. I wish I wasn't alone. I wish you were here with me. I don't think I can handle it anymore."
"Can't handle what?"
"Anything! My parents, my school, my-" I stop, jolting my head up. Thre's no one there.
I'm going insane.
"Hi." And then I see someone. A guy. I scream.
"Who the fuck are you?! How did you get into my house?!" I wipe my tears away from thinking about my brother before. I take the nearest thing next to me as a weapon. My pillow.
"You made a wish, so here I am." Says the boy. He's thin and tall. Really tall. He has dark hair covering his head and dark eyes. Just like me.
"I'm going insane," I say to myself. I can't stop thinking it.
"Jayden." He says. "I was sent down here as a guardian angel. I'm your guardian angel."
"I don't understand."
"Guardian angels are sent to those special people who suffer."
"I don't suffer."
He pulls my arm and pushes up my sleeve. Marks.
"I see everything up there." He says. I pull my hand away.
"Get off of me!" I become super self-conscious all of a sudden.
"There's nothing to be afraid of."
"I don't know who you are and what you want from me, but this isn't funny. Get a life!"
"Jayden. I'm Lincoln, your brother."
"If you really think this is funny, you're sick. Sick!" I'm holding in tears, new tears. They become heavy in my eyes and I don't know how much longer I can stand it for.
"You don't have to believe me. Just make a wish. Any wish. I'll prove it to you."
"I don't trust you."
"Make a wish."
"Why are you doing this to me?"
"Wish?"
"I wish-" sniff "I wish my parents came home right now."
"Honey, you'll never guess what!" Says the voice of mother as she opens the front door. I hear their footsteps come to my room. "We both got out of work early today, what are the chances?"
"no," I say to myself in disbelief.
"I wish they had to leave." I then say quickly and quietly.
"Let's go pick up Chinese for dinner." My father tells my mother. They're out the door in seconds.
I look at Lincoln.
"You can't tell anyone or they'll take me away and remove me from your memory," Lincoln says sternly.
I smile. I don't care if this is a dream, it's a damn good one for once.
