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Chapter 32- All scars have a story

My dad dropped by a little around six, he said he was at work and couldn't come earlier. He's currently sitting on the chair next to my bed, drinking a coffee Ryder brought for us. Ryder dismisses himself after handing me my coffee.

Silence takes over making me anxious. Is he mad? Disappointed? Happy? Sad? Worried? Is he leaving me again? Is he going to yell at me? Does he even miss me?

On my right sat the man I've know all my life. The man I love with all my heart. The man that taught me how to play sports. The man who taught me how to be strong. The man that still love me after all the things I did to him. The man that played with me when mother wasn't home. The man who treated me like a princess though I wanted to be a superhero. The man who supported me in everything. The man that sang with me in the car. The man who I joked around with. The man who loved his family and would take a bullet for them any day. The man who made sacrifices for his family. The man that helped me when I cried or was hurt. The man that was always there for me, when I needed him. The man who isn't afraid to speak his mind. This man is who I'm proud to call my father.

"I'm sorry." I was finally able to open my mouth to speak and break the uncomfortable silence. I looked down at my hand playing with them to distract me from nervousness.

"I'm sorry, for everything I've done. I'm sorry for treating you and mom like shit. I'm sorry for being a shit of a daughter. I understand if you don't forgive me. I understand if you leave. I just want you to know I'm truly sorry. All those years I treated y'all like nothing. I acted like a bitch, when all y'all did was treat me like a princess. I don't deserve your love, you were always there for me and I wasn't. I'm sorry for all the things I've ever done or said to you. Your the best dad anybody could wish for, but I didn't realize that until y'all were gone. All those years I blamed myself for y'alls death, I still do, I'm the one you should see dead. I'm the one you should hate. I said I wanted y'all to die, and that's what happened. You never realize you need them until it's to late. Every night, I cried myself to sleep with suicidal thoughts running through my head. I wanted to end my life, I tried it three times. Luckily they all failed. I couldn't handle it, it was hard there was time that I would hear voices telling me it's my fault and to just end my life. But I also remember that my dad would want me to stay strong and wouldn't be proud of my thoughts, it's what kept me strong. Your words and the pendent. I'm sorry dad, I'm so sorry. I can't believe I never realized what an amazing father I had, I was stupid, so selfishly stupid. Your right dad, I'm obnoxious." I didn't realize I was crying until I tasted the salt liquid on my lips. I slowly looked up into my fathers eyes.

He was also crying, his eyes slightly puffy, his lips, nose, and cheeks red. His face held many emotions. Regret, sorrow, pain, sadness. He pulled me into a hug and I immediately responded wrapping my arms around him.

"It's okay Nichole. I'm the one you should hate, I left you all alone with people who abused of you. I was to coward to come back and get you. I blamed myself for your mothers death, you don't know how much I regret not coming back for you. I kept tabs on you, but I never knew Fiona and Henry would ever do that. I'm sorry Nichole, I'm so sorry, please forgive me. Please." I sobbed into his shoulder as he sobbed into mine.

"It's okay dad, I forgive you. It's not your fault. We all make mistakes, and we have to learn from them it's what makes us stronger. My injury will leave a scar, but they scar will have a story behind me. I—no we will move on, okay. Mom wouldn't want us blaming ourselves for stuff we couldn't stop from happening. Today we will forget all that has ever happened and start a new chapter in life. My birthday is in two days, and I want to start fresh, okay. I just want you to know dad, that I'm really sorry."

"It's okay, I want you to know I forgave a long time ago. You're just like your mother, always keeping people strong even when their hurting. Always putting herself in front of others. Your mom would be so proud of you." My dad says.