Esoteric // h.s

quattro

Pink Matter ~ Frank Ocean 
****

Putting my cigarette out on the balcony ledge I pushed myself away from the edge and towards my room. The shrill screaming of my alarm made me cringe and I rushed to turn it off.

I had woke up at 3 in the morning from one of my reoccurring nightmares, and ending up staying up and smoking until my alarm blared at 6. From the amount of sleep I have been getting I might as well add insomnia to my list of issues.

Sighing I hoped in the shower, scrubbing the cigarette smell off my body and out my hair. Finishing, I brushed my teeth and cleaned my face. My dark waist length hair was drying into its natural wavy state and I decided straightening it would make me stick out less.

40 minutes later my hair was finished and so was my makeup. I just did my everyday face, light blended contour and mascara. Finished it off with lipstick and highlight. I tossed my thigh high boots on with an oversized grey tshirt and a black bomber jacket.

I'd learned that, for some reason, the better you looked the less approachable you seemed. And I wanted to be extremely unapproachable.

Grabbing my keys and backpack, I toss my cigarettes in with my books before sliding into my car, focusing on the directions my dad emailed to me.

I still don't touch my phone while I drive. Jonah would be disappointed if just stopped caring  because he was gone.

Pulling into the parking lot I stared at the people heading inside. Friends laughing about what they did last night, teachers scurrying in making sure everything ran smoothly. Couples getting their I love yous and hugs in before first period.

My nerves are caught in my throat. I can't help but sigh, looking down at my necklace. I pull the dog tag out, holding it between my fingers.

"I wish you were here" I whisper to the necklace. Pushing it back under my shirt I grab my bag and hop out the car. It's nothing in me to ignore the stares and whispers, hallways were full of them in New York after the incident.

I keep my head down and curse to myself when I bump into someone, dropping my phone.

"Sorry" I mumble as I reach down quickly to grab it.

"A pretty thing like you shouldn't apologize. I loved bumping into you" a tall boy says clad in a letterman. I cringe at his forwardness, noticing he confuses charm with being an asshole.

I turn and walk away without a word, ignoring the come backs and whistles from him and his group of idiots.

"God hates me" I say to myself as I open the door to the main office, strolling towards the lady at the front desk.

"I'm new.... Althea Amendola." The lady hands me an envelope and schedule without a word and I'm forever grateful. One less conversation I have to have.

It took me almost 15 minutes to find my stupid locker and my first class, which happened to be Italian. Lucky me.

"Fottermi" I curse as I pull open the door slowly, avoiding the class of beady eyes staring me down. Slowly walking to the teacher I hand her my schedule and the note from the office.

"Oi yes Althea, new student?" she asks. I just nod keeping my eyes on her and not my new classmates who find me as the new most interesting thing at their new school.