The Lost Love

Part 4 - Our Fellings

For the next six months we met weekly at each other's apartments. Taking turns at the computer, we created characters and the plot for a romantic sitcom based on our pasts. In between working, we ordered in Thai food, sat on the couch, and wound up talking about our families, ex-lovers, fears and desires. I felt safe with him, like I could say or do or be anything around him. We fought occasionally, usually when he didn't like one of my jokes.

"I can be funny," I argued.

"Then do it," he challenged.

When I told my mother about him, she looked at me with an arched brow. "I haven't seen you this happy in a long time."

"It's not like that, Mom. We're just friends."

I didn't admit to her that I liked the way he looked at me when I would show up in a sundress, or how sometimes I felt like curling into him on the couch and had to stop myself.

Then it happened. One night, in the middle of working, he turned to me and said, "I have feelings for you."

My breath caught in my throat. "I thought we agreed..."

"Right. It would be a bad idea," he said. "We wouldn't want to ruin our friendship."

I nodded, and pretended like it never happened.