Not The Perfect Teen Mom.

Thinkin’ Hell is a Place called Home (1)

　

　

“Oh my God. I have no freakin’ idea what I’m gonna tell my mom when I get home. I’m screwed.” I sighed. I was with my boyfriend, Joey at his place. Without our baby - Alyssa.

“Don’t worry about it, babe. When we get some money everything’s go-nna be okay.” Joey told me as he stroked my hair back and kissed my forehead.

I half smiled but at the same time something when he said that didn’t feel right when he said that. “Yeah, you said that a few months ago too and you promised you would get some money. Then what do you do? You get yourself fuckin’ arrested, so I have to bail you out and now we have even less money then what we started with. Joey. Get yourself together!” I said, getting madder and madder.

Joey’s face turned a deep shade of red and he raised his hand up.

I closed my eyes getting ready for the hit. It never came. I opened my eyes and there it came. Joeys hand smacked me across my face, hard. I tried not to cry, big girls don’t cry and God for what I’d been through I was a big girl alright. I tried, but it hurt. A lot.

“Bitch!” he yelled.

I held my face trying to block it all out, but the ramblings continued.

“I need to get it together? Me? God damn, Hailey! What about you? I have a job you know do you? No! So I don’t wanna hear it. Oh and don’t you remember you used your best friend’s credit card? Oh and the cocaine? You need to get it together you whore!” he yelled.

It was true. I did use my best friend’s credit card and I was arrested once for possession of cocaine. The credit card was to get Joey out of jail because I could just not live without him and the cocaine was his. Not mine but he stuffed it in my purse to get me back for not letting him see Alyssa.

I’m trying to get my life back together. I really am.

“Joey! I’m the one getting financial aid for us, I’m the one who is taking online classes and I’m the one who is with Alyssa 99% of the time. So I don’t want to hear it!” I yelled back.

He slapped me across the face and I started to cry. I grabbed my bag and my blue and white Aeropostale jacket and got up as quickly as I could from his bed and left his house, making sure to slam all the doors.

I’m Hailey Miller and this is my life. I’m seventeen years old and I’m a teen mom, living in Atlanta, Georgia. My baby girl, Alyssa is currently eight months old. I really am trying to get my life back together and make everything right. I try really hard but there is always something in the way. Normally, it’s Joey and my step mom - Diane. I love Alyssa with my entire heart and yes, she was a mistake but in my opinion she was the best mistake of my life and I wouldn’t trade her for anything. If you see the way I was before, you can see all the progress I’m making. I used to be a drunk, full-out party girl, hooking up with guys every night. Why? Cause I never felt loved. Now that I have Alyssa, when she is in my arms I feel her unconditional love. I wish my mom and Joey would give me a chance sometimes though.

　

I walked down the dim streets of Atlanta in the freezing cold. It was two o’ clock in the morning. I huddled as best as I could together and quickly called my mom. She didn’t answer so I left a message. “Hey mom, it’s me. I’m on my way home now. Love to Alyssa. Bye.” As I walked down the streets I saw some of my friends, or should I say, ‘ex’ friends hanging out by the park. I avoided them.

“Slut!”

“Whore!”

“Backstabber!”

I didn’t recognize the first two voices but that I realized the last voice was in fact, Lucy. Lucy and me were best friends and had been until about a month ago when I bailed out Joey from jail. Joey was her ex boyfriend and now she hated my guts. They threw their cigarettes at me and I broke out into a run to my house which was ten blocks away.

I opened my door and tried to slip in as quietly as I could. The lights were still on which meant mom was still up. Waiting for me. I looked up and their she was holding Alyssa.

“Where the hell you been Hailey?! I been here looking after ya baby and you been pah-tee-in? My daughter’s a fuckin’ whore. My own fuckin’ daughter!”

“Mom I wasn’t partying! I promise.”

“So where were ya? With ya boyfriend? Who is it now? Ya still with that Joey kid. God, Hailey he ain’t good for ya. Ya care about your boyfriend more then ya own kid!”

“No I don’t mom! I love Alyssa you know that.” I yelled back feeling tears in my eyes.

“Yah but ya love your boyfriend more. If you really loved ya daughter than yew-d be here with’ er. You ruin everythin’ Hailey. Your education, your money, yourself!” she yelled louder.

“Mom! I’m taken classes online and I’m applying for financial aid. You know that!”

“And where’s my money Hailey. You know if you don’t have the money, I’m kickin’ you out and you ain’t never gonna see yo’ baby never again. “

“Mom, I’m getting my pay check in two days from the diner. Can’t you wait that long? I don’t have the money and you know that!” my voice was breaking and I was getting madder and madder.

“I’m not running a damn homeless shelter! Unless you get the money befo’ tomorrow morning I’m kicking you out so you better get some somehow. “ she yelled, her words slurring. Mom was drunk.

“Just let me see my child please.” I said, giving and pleading for Alyssa.

“Ya could’ve seen her three hours ago but you were with ya boyfriend.” My mom screamed, taking Alyssa out of my reach.

“I hate you!” I screamed as I ran up to my bedroom.

When I got up to my bedroom I threw myself on my bed and looked up at my picture that was next to my bed. It was Alyssa.

Alyssa had big blue eyes and long black eye lashes. She was starting to grow golden blonde hair and she had a smile that could light up this whole world. Seeing her was the only way I was happy.

I needed that money. Desperately.

　

　

　

　

R