I think He's The One

how my life began

ill start from where i heard stories from. i dont remember my baby days well, but people told me plenty.

All i know is that my life started in tennesse. Thats where i was born.

I was born to a mother, and a stepfather who  didnt know was a stepfather, i only knew him as a father.

He decicded to name me sabrina, but my mom really wanted my name to be samantha. I was actually suppose to be a boy. Thats what my mom really wanted, only because she had to give up her fis son becasue she felt she was too young to care for a child at the time.

Anyways, i was told i'd walk around in boy clothes. i wasnt much of a girly girl. haha

My mom worked at burger king for sometime. I had a sister, well now that i think of it she wasnt a sister much.. not even a half sister, but id like to think of her as a half sister, she was sometimes very sisterly to me.

the first couple tradegies started when almost all of my pets died. I had a hamster, well two. they made babies and the babies made it out of the cage, sadly their heads got bitten off by the cat that i had, which oddly enough ran away afterwards.

I had a golden retriver, she was the best dog ever, until she ate rat poisoning, and died. i also had a paint horse, who also died from rat poisning.

my dad or stepfather put ra poisoning in their foods, for who knows why. maybe he just didnt like animals.

ayways i had a pet snake. it was a long yllow, bannana snake. i accidently let her out and she was never seen again, although all the rats around our house disapeared.

i also had two birds, i dont remember what kind of birds,but they were beautiful, that al i know of them, next they got really vicious, they would peck at you, so at some point ome died and we let the other one go into the wild, which probably killed the bird.

i also remember havng a small black chiwuawua, he would poop and pee evrywhere, and my stepfather would rub the dogs face into its own waste. the dog died at a young age.

after all my pets deaths, i remember my mom working as a cleaner or something at a hotel. me and my half sister would go on the roof and just sit there, well this one time, (her name was brittney) anyways, she wasnt feeling herself. shewasnt in a very good mood.

me being oung, i was always rude too her and i would always blae things on her. i ont know if it was some gaurdian looking out for me but i chose good words to say that day. otherwise i pretty sure i wouldnt be here right now.

she had her hand in the small of my back, i felt pressure, i dont know why i remeber but most of this was in vivid detail, she looks so sad, and angry at the world, she was a very angry child. she got diagnosed with  depressin at a young age.

i spoke to her and said "you know? im gladyoure my sister, ive alays wanted a sister." keep in mind i was older a bit, and i knew that my stepdad wasnt my real dad thats because my mom told me.

i was maybe 3 or 4. anyways, as soon as i told her that i no longe felt pressure on my back, her hand left me. she looked at my into my eyes, and smiled slightly, she then said " me too." right affter that she jumped... off the buildig, infront of me.. i  tried to grab onto her but me being so small i couldnt reach her by the time she left the edge.

i saw every bit of her hit the ground,it wasnt a pretty sigh, i remember not being able to speak for a while, i also remember my mother blaming her sucide on me. saying that i sholdnt have let her, or i should have jumped instead of her. i was only so little, i didnt think of that because i didnt know how she felt, i didnt know her feelings.

after a while, my om and stepdad got a divorce. we went and moved toarizona to go live with her mom. there i had many fmily members to lay with. i wasnt all by myself.

i was about 5 or 6 year oldwhen my mom started dating this guy she met at thetrailer park pool. i wasnt too happy with the idea of having someone take my mother away, een though i barle got to see her as itwas because she worked so much. my grandm didnt help with much so i practically taugt myself plenty of things.

i like to think of my mom as the most beautiful person eve, u til she met that guy. he made he stop doing plenty of things. like working for instantce. of course i was little and didnt care, i was only happy that i got to see my mom a lot more often.

the she started to drss differently, se stared looking like she was a hobo. she wore baggy clothes and shed never wear a bra and she'd stop drressing up and se coldnt wear make up anymore. all because the guuy she was dating.

he then toldher that he really lives in new mexico, and was only in arizona because his work cite was there. he gave hr the choice to come with her, or to stay. guess what she chse.

we ended up moving to new mexico about a week later. only to live with his dad and mom. they did not like us. he was basically still married. but thy didnt not stay together. so they were divorced bu through papers they were not divorced yet..