Baby, I'm not going to school
Why?:(
I cut my wrist last night. I'm sorry. My parents saw the cuts and they are going to take me to the doctors and then I might be in the hospital for suicidal watch
It was then when it hit me that this was not just an eating disorder. Not just side effects.
He hadn't cut since we met.
Does Sammie know?
Yes. Because I ran out of sweet harmonies crying. I love you
Please don't cry. I'm already in tears. And I love you so much
Please don't leave me
Im going to school for half a day. My doctors can't see me until tomorrow. After school I'm going to go see father Patrick so he can give me a blessing. I hope that you will still want to talk to me today.
I'll always want to talk to you
Are you still upset?
Yes. But not because of you.
Why are you then?
I don't know how to respond to this...and I want to help you so much but I don't know how
I want to be there for you but it's scary and I don't want to make you feel bad
I want to tell you that you are amazing and beautiful
But you won't believe it
I can tell you that I love you so much but you still think that nobody would miss you if you weren't here
And you can't help any of this..and it makes me sad. But I'm here for you
You're amazing
I love you so much
You are the only person I think about
And I care so much about you all I want to get better
When he came into school he gave me a 4 page note that he wrote before he cut. I cried.
I spent about 90% of my day crying. Sammie showed me her cuts and scars. Sammie is amazing. She's a girl version of Collin exactly. "Fake it so you make it" she says.
how are you feeling
Bad, but better though
Mentally or physically?
Wrist hurts, started bleeding again today, and emotionally woren out
I'm so sorry Collin. How can I help you?
Its fine baby, and there isn't anything
I want to be with you
I really want to be with you too
Are you talking to Sammie?
Yes
She's amazing
She is
I don't know what's going on right now. But what I do know is that i love you
You're the only person I want
I care so much about you and all I want to do is just stay with you forever and I know that me saying this doesn't make much of a difference I just am going to keep reminding you of that
You mean more than the world to me
I know
I want you in my life forever
So we're going to get through this okay? I'm going to help as much as I possibly can and you have to try too
Please be completely honest with me
I'm always going to be here to talk to you and lay with you
You're the only one that I want and the only reason why I cry is because that's how I deal with things
Everyone has dark thoughts Collin. Everyone has bad things in their life, all different levels of bad, but still they effect a person.
People have different ways on handling the bad thoughts. You cut. I cry. Some people smoke. Others drink. And others ignore.
But it's going to be okay. Everything will be alright and happy again
