Dear Cory,
Its been just over three months since you went away from us. It still doesnt feel all that real, maybe I've just become numb to it all. Ive just watched "The Quarterback" for the first time, it was so hard but I did it, through to the end. Now, now I just feel empty, drained (physically and emotionally) and I just want to sleep. Seems silly, that all I want to do is close my eyes but its okay, because when I close my eyes I can see you. I can touch you, hear you, you're there. Smiling. Talking. Breathing. Being. Its when I open my eyes, the harsh reality of it all dawns on me. You arent there.. You arent Smiling. Talking. Breathing. Being. You're gone.
Why did you have to leave us Cory? Your family. Your fans... Lea.
She misses you so much Cory. Everybody does, I do, so much. You taught me one of the most important things in life. That being myself is okay. That everyone is equal and never to discriminate or talk ill of others. You didnt have a bad bone in your body and never had a bad word against anyone, you were a shining light to all those around you and all those who adored you. Although Im just some hopless fan who never got the pleasure of meeting you, I still feel like, you were such a huge part of my life. Whenever I was sad, or just a bit blue, I'd remember Finn Hudson, the glee hero, my hero. People tell me to move on yanno? That you're just some celebrity tragedy that everyone will forget. Well, I will never forget you cory. You were my rock. My lighthouse. My symbol of hope. You were a reminder that everything would be okay.
I stood by you through it all. Drugs, rehab, relapse. You put my loyalty through the ringer but I could never leave you, no matter the situation because in my heart I knew if you were in the posistion of your family and fans you would never give up on us. Im still not giving up Cory. I still believe in you, you were taken from us too soon and I can say that from the bottom of my heart, I never cared that you made mistakes in life, nobody is perfect. Nobody. You had your problems just like everyone else, but your ways of dealing and coping were the reason we lost you.
I tried so hard to stay strong when I found out about you leaving us Cory. I swore to myself I wouldnt cry, I couldnt cry, I went into a state of shock. Something inside me just snapped. I knew nothing would ever be the same again. I must have cried for a solid week or so before I had no more tears, after that it was just numbness, just a horrible empty, sinking feeling. The same feeling I have right now. I couldnt come to terms with the tragedy that had just unfolded before my very eyes,
I love you so much cory. I know the angels are taking such good care of you up there. I hope that when its my time I can join you, and finally meet my hero. I miss you Cory, I always will.
"If I die young,
Bury me in satin,
Lay me down on a bed of roses,
Sink me in the river at dawn,
Send me away with the words of a love song"
Cory Allan Michael Monteith
11.5.1982 - 13.7.2013
