The Love that I Never Had

Chapter 2

She wakes up glowing with love. Today is her birthday - and she will be on an out-of-town trip with Alex. Finally, walang mga asungot - his co-workers and drinking buddies. Just the two of them. Hindi pa man, excitement grows in her soul. Usapan nila ni Alex, she'll have to travel to Puerto Princesa, Palawan alone. He will be coming from Davao. Doon na sila magkikita. She moves so fast. Hindi niya alam if it's because she doesn't want to be late or she can't wait to see Alex. Oh how she loves to be with him again. One week na kaya si mokong sa Davao?

But all her excitement goes down the drain. Soon as she sets foot in Puerto Princesa Airport, she receives a text from Alex: He's not coming. The supposed interview with the politician did not push through. Ni-reset daw today.

Gustong kumulo ng dugo niya. Gusto niyang itapon ang phone at magsisigaw ng "You're a liar!"

Pero pinigil niya ang sarili niya. She keeps her poise. But what she could not hold back are the tears slowly falling down from her eyes. For God's sake, Alex. Pati ba naman sa araw ng birthday ko sasaktan mo 'ko? You're too much...

She looks down on her phone. Binasa niya ang Instagram post ng media coordinator ng politician who happens to be her college friend and pina-follow niya. The caption reads: Alex Garcia of Each Day News on a one-on-one interview with Davao Congressman Lito Dictado.

Kung hindi natuloy, eh, ano 'tong post na 'to? Magsisinungaling rin lang di pa siguraduhing malinis. Magsisinungaling rin lang 'di pa pinagpabukas. Ngayong birthday ko pa talaga?

She arrives in the hotel with all the excitement thrown out of the window. She throws herself in bed and looks at the ceiling. Uuwi ba ako?

She decided not to. Tumayo siya sa pagkakahiga at naisipang lumabas. She's hungry pero walang ganang kumain. Lumabas siya at nagpunta sa beach. May beachfront ang hotel na pinag-book-an nila.

Hindi na niya tinawagan si Shiela to accompany her. Magmumukha lang siyang kawawa. She might as well try to enjoy being alone rather than talk about Alex. She also thinks she desperately needs to do some soul searching.

She walks along the shore. Malapit na ang sunset – she's just right in time. She's able to capture the sun in its most calming state. She feels so relaxed. Finally, it's only me, myself and I, nasabi niya sa sarili niya. Pakiramdam niya nakikisama ang hangin sa araw. Gusto rin nitong gawing kalmado ang pakiramdam niya. Napakalamig nito. Ang sarap sa pakiramdam habang humahampas ito sa mukha niya – and deep within her heart. Pati na rin ang tunog ng alon ng tubig sa dagat. Humarap siya sa dagat at pumikit. Ninamnam niya ang kapayapaan na nararamdaman niya. Pakiramdam niya, inaalis ng mga ito ang sakit sa puso niya. Nagtagal siya sa ganoong posisyon.

"A penny for your thought?"

"H-ha?" Napadilat siya. May lalaking nakatayo sa harap niya.

"I see that you're enjoying the sea breeze, Chrystelle..."

Nagulat siya sa narinig. Kilala siya nito? Kunot ng noo ang isinagot niya sa sinabi nito.

"You don't remember me?"

Hindi niya maaninag ang mukha nito. 

"I'm Makiel, remember?"

"Makiel Miranda? 'Yung..."

Natigilan siya. Of all people...

Ang binata na ang nagtuloy...

"'Yung classmate mo noong high school. Si McCoy."

She feels stupid. Medyo madilim na kasi. Wala namang ilaw sa may shore.

"Alone?"

"Yes. Ikaw?"