nootmas christmas

apple sauce kiddy pool lets meet the queen

"Well get that fockin boi" said the old man with an applesauce beard.

Noot and thomato ran out, the air pushing their hair through their faces. The culmination of their parenting was shown through one single boy running with no hands through the Peruvian goat field.

Their throats tasted of dry blood from the long sprinting, they couldn't stop coughing. As they both stopped, Samuel bolted into the forest, never to be seen again.

"We have to find him boot"
"Fuck off it's Noot and lets just have another child. Samuel never spoke and he can just live with the wolves."

Suddenly a voice called out. It was the old man.

"Y'all got a phone call !"

They walked back completely forgetting about the incident that just went down. Noot and thomato had never received a phone call during their long stay in Peru. They felt perplexed, quiet green in the head.

Thomato picked up the dusty phone with Noot by his side.

"Hello. Noot and Thomato, we have just awarded you for best parenting of 2016" a deep British voice spoke through the speaker.
"What?"
"Hmmm dafuck"

"You will receive a plaque and a cash prize of 12million dollars, along with a special visit to the queen of England."

Once they heard the cash prize, jaws dropped. Flashing images of fancy cars trips to Spain life time supply of peanut butter and ketchup designated a spot of excitement.

"When will this be!" Noot said, completely forgetting their heroin addicted 13yr old child with no hands lost in the forest.

"12 days, a helicopter should arrive shortly at your Peruvian goat ranch, please enter and we will get you prepared to meet the queen"

"Okay!" They both said.

"What the fock is this about" said the old man. He scoffed once he heard their prize winnings, and had a heart attack, landing on his applesauce filled kiddy pool, and dying.

Just then a loud roar accumulated outside, for the helicopter was there.

"Let's go hunny" Noot yelled over the woosh of the air.

They walked into the helicopter, leaving their 13 children in the house with the dead old man, ready to receive the best parents of 2016 award.