Written in Our Zodiac: A Donald Trump x Ted Cruz Lemon

Chapter One: I'm Back, Bitches.

Present-Day

Ted Cruz sat in his rocking chair, gazing out the window creepily at the neighbor's children playing outside. "I wonder which one I should murder today," he murmured, turning to smile at the Zodiac Killer sketch framed on his wall. "God, I look so handsome."

But this was no time for bloodshed, at least in the literal sense. For weeks, the Cruzinator had been articulately planning his comeback...this time as the prospective Governor of Texas. Months ago, he had dropped out of the presidential race. The media had cited his waning poll results as the reason he had left. But Cruz knew things that the 6 o' clock news never would. He thought back, to about two weeks before he ended his run....

April 17, 2016

Fast asleep in his race-car bed, Ted awoke to the sound of his window sliding open. Craning his neck toward the moonlight, he could just barely see a pantsuited figure tiptoeing toward him. A maniacal, almost robotic laugh echoed through his room.

"HAhaaaahAAAhAHAh!!!!"

"Wh..who's there? I have a gun..."

Unfazed by his comment, the mysterious guest moved toward him, until she was within a foot of his unsettling face.

"Hi Ted. It's Hillary. And I know your secret...."

Before Ted could even utter a word in response, the woman had vanished, much like her emails. Needless to say, he was confused.

"W-what secret?" Suddenly he realized what she was talking about.

"Oh no...."

Present-Day

Hillary never did reveal that secret of his, but that was the reason why he left the election circuit. He knew it was only a matter of time before sabotage caught up to him. Running for governor was a genius plan...he could still be at the front and center of politics without having to mess with some of the craziest candidates in national history.

However, Ted knew that his former campaign lacked one crucial thing: good PR. In order to improve on that failure, he needed help. But, from who?

Then, it came to him. He picked up his phone and began dialing.