For years I thought I was afraid of judgment. I thought since I was always so different I thought people judged me.
I can't remember a time where I didn't feel this way. Everyone asks me what I fear but sadly in the end I tell them I fear nothing. I don't want to be frowned upon but I don't want to lie either.
After years I realized I wasn't afraid anymore. New fears rose to the surface but I kept them hidden. My mind become a war zone with thought of fear. I can't tell you how many times I would lay awake in pain and in fear of what would happen if I closed my eyes.
Eventually I found out that I wasn't afraid of judgement, I wasn't afraid of death, I wasn't afraid of the girl with the permanent smile, I wasn't afraid of those stronger than me, I wasn't afraid of fighting.
I was afraid of myself.
((Inspired by Catherine Wolf))
