The Family Diner

2~The Psycho Trio

Chapter Two: The Psycho Trio

Alfred F. Jones

As the two policemen enter, I look up cheerfully while closing my book and setting it down. "Hello, officers. Welcome to the Family Diner," I say, equally cheerfully. A loud thump comes from behind me, but my cheerful smile never wavers.

The taller of the two peers down at me. "We got a report from a civilian that you harbour child labourers in this diner, and came to check it out."

I hear someone in the diner break into a coughing fit as my cheerful smile broadens. They've come to the wrong place. There are no child labourers here. I think.

"I'm sorry, but I have absolutely no recollection of an underage worker entering this fine establishment. You see, the only children here at the moment are related to my regular customers. But if you see fit, by all means search this place for little hooligans."

I cheerfully reopen my book as they venture in.

Obviously no child labourers. My goodness, if they were good police officers, they should have learned what this kid looks like.

There's nothing like summer in the city: someone under stress meets someone looking pretty. There's trouble in the air and you can smell it, and Alexander's by himself... I'll let him tell it.

I hadn't slept in a week, I was weak, I was awake. You'd never seen a bastard orphan more in need of a break. Longing for Angelica, missing my wife, that's when Miss Maria Reynolds walked into my life. She said:

"I know you are a man of honour; I'm so sorry to bother you at home. But I don't know where to go, and I came here all alone. My husband's doing me wrong: beating me, cheating me, mistreating me! Suddenly he's up and gone; I don't have the means to go on."

So I offered her a loan, I offered to walk her home, she said, "You're too kind, sir." I gave her thirty bucks that I had socked away; she lived a block away; she said, "This one's mine, sir."

Then I said, "Well, I should head back home."

She turned red, she led me to her bed, let her legs--

"Alfred!" someone yells in my ear. I throw my novel across the room in surprise, screaming bloody murder and looking up at the offender.

"What are you even reading? That's not a novel," continues Matthew, moving to sit on my front counter.

"It's a script novel, you dingus," I mutter. "What brings you here?"

He grins confidently. "I had an epiphany this morning and rushed over. You know how I'm gonna pick up a chick one of these days?"

"No, you could never."

"Well, I thought of the perfect person, plus a backup in case the perfect person fails me. Which will not happen."

"Work your magic, sonny," I say with a snicker.

Matt saunters off. I go pick up my novel.

Wait, the police are already gone? Hmm. And what was that noise right as they entered?

I shrug.

~~~~

Matthew Williams

I prowl over to a certain table where two certain people are discussing something. Looks important, by the way one is crying and one appears to be in desperate need of a joint.

"Hello, Madeline," I trill happily, sliding in next to her real nicely. "Who's the kid?"

Her slightly dead eyes turn over to me. "My wor-- my nephew."