Words Never Said

In the End

     <Above is a picture of Lexi.>

     Lexi's POV

     In the blink of an eye, my whole world vanished. Everyone I loved and held dear...gone. That night changed me, in ways other's couldn't imagine what I was going through. You think you know what it's like to lose someone you love and that's the end of the world for you.

     Well, did you lose your entire family...forcing you to go live with your aunt and uncle who didn't know you even existed and have no idea what you're going through.

     To top things off...I didn't just lose my family. I lost my will to do almost anything. I lost my will to live, I lost my will to feel emotions. I lost my will to speak.

     Countless of times, I've put my life in danger. I would walk across the street without looking out for cars. I would walk along the edge of twenty story buildings, not caring that I could fall to my death if I took one wrong step and lost my balance. I wouldn't necessarily try and kill myself, I just didn't care. I stopped caring, it took months to be able to conceal that feeling, but at last I mastered it. Walls have been built around my heart, and I have to continuously be on guard to make sure the walls don't crumble and fall.

     This is my new life, this is what I have become. I'm a freak and everyone knows it. I don't have to say a word, they just know. 

     They always know. 

***

     "Mom, I'm so sorry. Please wake up. Dad, Rick, please."

     Tears run down my face and spill onto the dead bodies of my family.

     "Please wake up."

     Suddenly, all three of them sit up and turn their glassy eyes to look at me. 

     "It's your fault we're dead," they say in unison. "You should be dead, too."

     Panting, I bolt upright in bed. Looking around me, my body loses some of its tension knowing that I'm in my room...not back at my home where my family was murdered.

     I lay back down, still breathing hard. The nightmares have been slowly going away, but every now and then, a memory slips into my head when my defenses are down.

     A quick glance at the clock shows that it's just after five a.m. Since I know it's useless to go back to sleep for only an hour before I have to wake up again, I get out of bed and grab my jacket to go for a quick walk. 

     Once outside in the chill morning air, I put on my headphones and listen to In the End  by Black Veil Brides.

     In the end

     as you fade into the night,

     who will tell 

     the story of your life?

     No one. Once I'm gone, no one will tell the story of my life...because no one even knows it. They think they do, but they don't. 

     And who will remember

     your last goodbye.

     This is the end

     and I'm not afraid, not afraid to die.