I Know Your Secret // G.D

Prolouge

April 16, 2008 '6 yrs

I never see my daddy but my mommy always told me he said he would pick me up. He never comes though.
Today my daddy was supposed to pick me up. He didn't come again. I look up to see my mommy crying. Why was she sad? I hate when she's sad? I just keep hearing her say
"He always does this."
I wonder what that means? I ask my mommy if daddy is coming soon. She looks up at me with a scary look on her face.
"Shut up you brat, he lied, he's not going to pick you up."
I wonder what brat meant? My mommy never talks to me like this.
"When is he going to then?"
She looks at me again but gets up from the table,
"He never is going to pick you up. He doesn't want you, he never did."
Mommy then hits me. Why is she doing this? What did I do? I wasn't being a bad girl?
I start to cry and mommy looks like she's getting more madder.
"SHUT UP AND GO TO YOUR ROOM NOW!!" , she yells at me.
I run to my room crying. I run to my bed and get under my covers. I hug my favorite stuffed animal, Hazel. He's my stuffed pet dog. He makes me feel better when I'm feeling sad. I'm tired now.

'7 yrs

I don't hear from my daddy anymore but I still ask mommy. She always gets made when I ask even if she's happy. I always get hit. Why am I so dumb and keep asking. I just want to see my daddy. My mommy used to say I love you. I don't know why. I love her. My mommy has been sad all the time too. Why can't she be happy? Why do I have to make mommy mad all the time and be a bad girl?

'9 yrs

I've stopped asking about daddy last year. My birthday was yesterday and my mommy didn't remember. It's okay we probably forgot like she did last year. I made a wish before I went to bed. I wished for my mommy to be happy and my daddy to see me. I guess it didn't work because mommy hit me for staying up late passes my bedtime. I always make mommy mad. Why? I hate myself. Maybe if I make a wish every night it would work. My friend said she makes a wish to see the Jonas Brothers at 11:11 every night. So tonight I'm going to wish for mommy to be happy at 11:11. I want her to be happy.

'12 yrs

It's been a while. My mom still hits me. It's gotten worse. It's almost everyday. I'm a waste of space. My daddy left me for a reason. Is it okay for a 12 year old to be thinking like this? Why is my life like this? The kids at school make fun of me for not having a dad. I cry every night before bed. Is it my fault? Am I too ugly for mommy and daddy? Mommy hit my yesterday because I got a B on my math test. I didn't mean too. I'll try harder next time I promise. Please don't let mommy be sad anymore. I hear her cry every night. She always cries while saying "What am I doing"
I don't know what that means. I still make a wish every night at 11:11 for mommy to be happy and to see my daddy. I want a happy family.

'14 yrs

I officially fucking hate my life. My mom will hits me. She has a good reason. I'm a waste of space and I'm fucking annoying. I hate being stupid. I always get her mad and I form mean too. My teachers say I'm the smartest in my class and I can go somewhere in life. I don't believe them because my mom said I wot ever leave the house. Being a freshman in high school is hard. The kids in my class all care about social media and having a relationship. I'm the ugliest girl in school. I have one friend but she hates to be seen with me. I tell her it's okay because I want to keep her as a friend. I will hate myself if I ruin our friendship. My mom actually remembered my birthday this year, I think. She got me a phone? But didn't say happy birthday. That means she remembers right? I don't know. I'm just happy I have a phone. I start an Instagram and a Twitter. I love Twitter. I want friends. I want my mom back. I want to see my dad. I make my 11:11 wish like I have been for the past 8 years every night. Hopefully this one comes true.

'15 yrs

I'm finally 15 and my mom just told me we are moving to Los Angeles. My beatings have gotten worse. I get hit for the littlest things. The name calling gets worse. The bullying at school is worse. Why can't I be perfect. The kids call me fat. I am fat. I stopped eating. I want to lose weight. I want to be like the models in the magazine. The only thing I like is my hair. I get it from my dad which is another thing my mom hates. She said it reminds her of him. Then she beats me calling me a piece of shit and that I'm worthless. I am worthless. Music is the only thing that has been helping me these past few years. Writing as well. I love to write. I want to become a writer one day and write a book. I told my mom and she beat me too. She said my dreams where shit and I'll never make it. I told her I will because I'm top of my class and my teachers said I can. That day I got it harder than ever for talking back and believing in stuff that ain't true. That day I haven't even though of that I pushed to the back of my head. I will never be that. My mom is right I'm worthless. I wish I wasn't born. My anxiety has gotten worse. My mom doesn't care. She never did  and never will. My mom said she wished she put me up for adoption. I wonder if I would have had a better life than now. I fucking hate myself. I get out of the shower and go to my mirror. I see a broken girl staring back with bruises on her arms and legs. Her stomach is pudgy and fat. Thighs too big. Hips to wide. Butt pops out to much. My body is disgusting. My mom and everyone is right. I'm ugly and fat. I wish I was dead. I get ready for bed but before I head to my window. I look at the sky the beautiful sky. I see the clock stroke 11:11 I quickly make my wish. I close my eyes and get ready. This time I say my wish out loud. This time it's different. This one is different. Instead of wishing for my mom to be happy and my dad to come. I wish for someone to save me.

Author's Note:
Hey this is a new story in starting since my last I got writers block and couldn't continue. I got a new idea and decided on this hopefully you like it. Please comment and vote!!❤️❤️ Tell me what you think?!!