I FELL IN LOVE WITH MY BESTFRIEND

Chapter 1

I’m in love with my male best friend. We’ve known each other for a while and we flirt and have it all. Since were 9 years old, He is my Ultimate Crush, Even when i am going somewhere, He is just in my beside protecting me.We have tons of inside jokes, and tease each other. We smile at each other all the time. We share everything with one another. I know things about him that he would never tell anyone else, and I have told him all mine. We talk every day and text all the time and hangout about 4x a week, We never kissed or anything, I think its because we were scared to take that step. We always joked about how we should just get married but that was about it.  When I'm going to bed, I always pray our Frendship, How could i tell him that I LOVE him, When he is Happy, with some other Girls?, I want to know him That I Got a Crush on Him, But my Hypothalamus teases me but my Heart say's Don't tell him that you have crush on him because 

You just those vulnerable ....... <///333

Now he has a girlfriend, she’s a great girl. I can see why he likes her. It broke my heart when he told me about her the first time, but instead of breaking down I placed a smile on my face and told him I was happy for him. :'( 

I know it makes him happy that I approve of her. They have only been going out for around a month but the other day he told me he thinks he’s going to fall in love for her.

We still flirted a bit up until he told me this. It was MY idea to stop the flirting and he agreed and now we are trying to back off each other. I know he cares for me but he doesn’t know I’m in love with him… 

I was working up the will power to tell him and then he told me about her.

So here is my issue. I love him so I’m going to place a fake smile on my face and tell him to go for it. (I am happy for him, I really am. At the same time it kills me to do so). But it hurts more and more every time he speaks about her. Yesterday I saw them kiss and later that night I cried myself to sleep.It hurts too much to see them together and to hear him talk about her. So I was thinking about trying to end our friendship…In a slow manner like,

Not call him so much and not answer his calls or texts. 

Stop hanging out with him.

....................................................................

I cant tell him I love him, I will NOT put him in that position! But the pain it causes me to see them together is too much, what should I do….

Do you remember when I said I'd always be there?

Ever since we were ten,When we were out on the playground playing pretend,

I didn't know it back then.Now I realize you were the only one,

It's never too late to show it.

Grow old together,

Have feelings we had before,

Back when we were so innocent.

I' Officially Missing YOU !