Forever and Always - BoyxBoy -Complete-

16

Liam

For the next few hours after our short conversation before going back to class, it was him that's stuck inside my head now. I admit, I'm still  head over heels for him. There are a lot of guys whom I could have liked here but Kean, he's different, in every single possible way a person can define. I always get myself being caught up within his line of fire, and getting hit every time with those feelings he shoots. A straight shot of his arrow piercing through my heart with a rope tied to its end and pulls it out of my chest. He captures my deepest feelings for him, unintentionally. He doesn't got the slightest idea that he's done it already because all he wants to get is Daniel's, but as I get in the middle, I became the victim.

I couldn't even care less of what he intends to do later when we get to the hospital. I only assume that he'll break down when we or he sees Daniel, lying on the bed, lifeless. I have never been in the hospital or never have I seen someone like that. Maybe in some television shows like Shortland Street(NZ TV Show, set up in the hospital) or Grey's Anatomy. I'm always thrilled watching those kinds of shows, all those cramming and panicking just to save a life, all those talks and stuff. But I wonder how it feels in reality. I wonder what will I feel when we go there and see him. That's already a different feeling and experience that I'll have.

Kean, knowing him, wouldn’t take it easily as well. He might be as dumb as he looks but when it gets to someone close to him that's hurt, he'll definitely jump out of the bush and pounce you like a tiger. But, he never does that. He just lets himself get hurt and shrugs it off afterwards. He is a total idiot, ready to risk something, including himself, for the sake of his love ones.

I was also once defended by Kean, when those jocks here at school tried to push me off the first floor balcony while I was still looking for my next class. I didn't actually know Kean that time yet, although we had a few meetings before but never had a chance to get introduced. Still, he came there and tried to fight those jocks and not so surprisingly, he got well beaten by them. That's the start where he's always being picked by those bastards and hit him in the back. He was just sitting there, laughing his ass out and then gets up before coming up towards me, asking if I'm hurt. Of course I hit that knuckle headed bastard for asking me like that, not bothering about his own self.

That first memory of him is what I truly treasure the most and if I can bury it in a time capsule, I would gladly do it. It's worth showing it off to people and telling them that, 'And here's Kean. He's my best friend and my first lover and I'm proud of him.' and then, hopefully that would appreciate him. But how will I know? I'm dead or we're dead by the time they dug it out of the ground anyways. That's why it's called time capsule. "Duh. like yeah." I said and chuckled a bit of the thought. And it's pretty stupid to make such thing, who would be interested enough to look for it and try to read it?

Why am I still thinking about him anyways? I should be moving on now, I should have been doing that after our break up. And yet, I can't still make myself settle down to those ideas and reflections that I shouldn't have let him go. That it was a mistake to let him have his own happiness for his sake. That it was all wrong, all wrong. "Heh, here you go again Liam talking to yourself and looking pathetic." sighing.

I've been standing outside the school gate, leaning my back against one of its columns and waited for Kean. Surprisingly, he hasn't arrived yet. His class should have been finished about ten minutes ago. Well, I might be expecting him to have a few lies again for making me wait. I'm going to listen to another list of his reasons why he's late, and most of them are simply not true, but it's him. Maybe he's knocked off by those jocks again and when he comes here' he'll not going to tell me again, like on the first day of class this year. He may have not thought about it, but I saw them from afar. I was about to move, but I can't, I didn't. I wanted to fend them off but something's restraining me from my place where I stand. All I can do was to watch horribly at what they're doing to him. I'm not scared or anything, I just can't help him, even if I want to.

"I was waiting for you to speak something while I was waiting here. You haven't said or nudged from where you're standing. I thought you were thinking about something so, I decided not to bother you for a while. I guess it’s hard for you to take our break up. I know Liam, there’s no way of hiding it away from me. The way you acted earlier when I asked you about Daniel, it was stupid of me. I shouldn’t have asked you about that, I should have kept it to myself.

“But, all I really wanted to say since that day was, thank you. Thank you for letting me go for my own happiness, thank you for the love you gave me even though I didn’t paid it back and thank you for being here now as my friend. There’s nothing much I can say no, but thank you.”

My body twitched at his voice from the other side of the wall. I felt my eyes brimming with tears to his words and as if I wanted to run away from this, feeling, the only escape to reality. “Kean you jerk! Now you’re making me cry! Enough of those dramas will you? We’re still going to Daniel and now I’m looking so terrible. I wanted to see him with a happy face, not with puffy and red eyes.” I yelled at him on the other side, chuckling in between those words.

He revealed himself and walked around facing me. I’m still standing on my knees, about to fall down and yet keeping myself together. “See, I’m okay. So don’t you bring those memories back all the time? I am hurt, I cannot deny that. But now, I’ll be happy for you, knowing that you’re only a step closer to your happiness and that’s what makes me even more happier.”

“Li…”

“Kean, let’s not start with this thing over and over again, okay? It’s the past, let’s bury it already.”

Rip.

“I will be happy for you and Daniel.”

Rip.

“…and you’ll see that I will find someone later who will love me as much as you did.”

Rip.

He raised his hand up to my face and wiped off a tear that escaped from my eye with his finger. "No need to cry, I know that you'll be happy for me, and I know that you'll find that lucky guy, whom will love you more than I did and will even make you more happier. No one will ever resist your charm, silly." I can feel his breath touching my cheek as he laughed. God, he's so cute at this view. I just wished I could have more of him before than now, making him more intimate than it used to be.

"Kean? Can I have a favor?"

"Sure, anything will do."

"Can I have a one last kiss from you?"

And then without any hesitation in his mind, he kissed me for the last time. I am sure that this is it. I am going to miss this soft lips that I always look every morning I wake up and when I go to school, when we get home, when I'm sad, when I'm happy, when I'm alone and needed someone to be there for me, when I just wanted nothing else but him beside me. I am going to miss everything we shared.

I broke away and he leaned his forehead against mine. "Thanks Kean, now I'm feeling good. I'll be here to support you no matter what."

"Liam, I'll be here for you too, and thank you again for having me and Daniel, well not at this point yet but soon, to be possible."

"You're always welcome you dim-witted lazy slug."