With You (a phanfiction)

Lost count

Dan P.O.V

I was almost there, I almost made it back to phil. But I was to fucking weak. I thought I could make it. I couldn't. Phil actually wants me! He isn't just staying friends with me out of pity, he actually likes me. No ones actually wanted me before! Phil and his friends didn't care about my nerdy-ness. They were if possible nerdy then me! They loved and accepted me for me. I could listen to p!ATD without being judged, these people start singing and dancing to the song. They show me tumblr accounts they think I'll like. (which I always do) they joke about my "aesthetic" but in a way that makes me feel better about myself. Chris could easily make me laugh. Connor listened to me as I did him. Phil well phil he was perfect he made me feel better, he made me think I was worth something. He said he what was it? He was in love with me! Not this Carrie chick. I again I had been stupid and assumed the wrong thing. Not the first time. I assumed that Sam was nice but obviously not. I assumed that phil and Chris would be the same. They weren't even close to Sam and the others. I don't know why I just tried to cut my life so short so quickly. I guess it was my stupidity. I looked around darkness, nothingness. I attempted moving my arm again. Nothing.

PHIL P.O.V
I look down at dans life less body once again. He didn't come back for long he was conscious for about 6 minutes well, that's what I was told. I think they just said that to make me feel better. Dan had pranked me, I must be getting punished for letting him go so quickly. I don't even know if dan truly loves me or if he just said that because he thought he was dying. Then again dan doesn't usually lie. I've lost count of how many days, weeks, months even, that I've been here waiting for dan to just at least move again! I looked out the small window above dans head and sighed. I really should go outside and get some fresh air. I really didn't want to leave dan but I know he would kill me if he knew I was losing sleep over him and skipping classes. The school knew what was going on though so they sent me the work to do while sitting with dan. I stood up and headed down the ward and towards the exit. As I opened to doors a huge gust of wind blew into my face leaving me in a cold shiver. I noticed a small park across the road and decided to grab some lunch and sit on a park bench. Left with my own thoughts again while soaking up the Vitamin D. I smiled at the thought of dan wincing in the sunlight like he normally would every morning in our dorm when I pulled the curtains open. "Dan" I sighed to myself. An elder woman who looked like she was about in her 50's sat next me a smiled sadly "got someone in the hospital too?" She asked. I nodded. "Yeah, I'm phil by the way, uhh phil lester" the woman shook my hand "Lisa Howell" my eyes widen, I'm sure there a plenty of people with the last name Howell. The woman named Lisa smiled at me. "Who are you here for?" I asked. She frowned and looked to the floor. "My son Adrian. He fell off the roof of the house while trying to clean the gutter. My husband is in the waiting room at the moment." I took this information in. How many people had the last name Howell and a son called Adrian. Did she know about dan? Had she in her mind disowned dan? Dan had said once that he's parent didn't really like him anymore. Lisa started to talk interrupting my thoughts. "What about you?" I signed sadly. "My best friend over dosed in an attempt to kill himself" the lady gasped. "Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry!" I frowned. She definitely doesn't know it's her own son. Had the hospital even tried to contact them? Did the school tell them dan had requested never to be involved with his parents? Would dan do that? Probably. "What's your friends name honey?" Lisa asked. I felt a tear form in my eye. Friend. I wanted to more then friends with this guy but I fucking can't be because he lifeless form is laying in the stupid hospital only being kept alive by a heap of machines. "Dan." I sniffled. The woman looked like she had seen the ghost of her dead husband or something. "My eldest son's named Daniel, he prefers dan. He left for collage at the start of the year. Last time we spoke we weren't on good terms." The woman let out a whelp. I patted her on the back. "It's okay, I'm sure he doesn't hate you as much as you think." I smiled. The woman let out a few tears before continuing. "I found out He was bi and I was worried people would bully him even more then usual. So I tried to convince him that he had to be straight. I know it was stupid but I didn't want him coming home from school with a bruised up face every second day. I didn't realise that the reason he was already coming home with cuts and bruises was because he had told he's closet friend. He went to his friends for help and they beat him up for it! Me saying he should be straight for he's on wellbeing probably didn't help he's mental state." I didn't know what to say. Dan MY dan Howell had been abused because of his sexuality! That's why he went to a collage so far away from home! He was scared to trust anyone. That's why he was so distant. That's why he committed! He over dosed because he thought we would do the same thing. I felt the warm tears falling freely from my face. "Lisa?" She looked up at me and sighed at me. She whipped away my tears and stood up. " I probably should be getting back to my husband now, see what Adrian's broken. I really do hope your best friend recovers" she smiled and before I could say anything else she waddled off. I decided I better get Back to dan now. I headed down into his ward but dans bed was gone. I frowned. They probably moved him across the hall, I'll go ask. I grabbed my school work off the chair and headed to the front desk. The woman at the front desk smiled and held out her hand signalling for me to wait while she searched something on the computer. "Dans gone in for some tests he should be back in an hour or two" the lady informed me. I thanked her and headed into dans ward and continued my school work.

A couple hours later a woman walked past and called out. I looked up and saw Lisa. I waved and walked towards her. "Ahh, good to know you're just a couple rooms down." I smiled at this. "How's Adrian?" I asked. "Broken arm and leg" she rolled her eyes. I laughed and saw dan being rolled out of a room. Although he didn't come back to his normal room he was sped to a room somewhere else in the hospital. I started to panic. What was going on? Why was he being rushed away from me? Why the hell was I not being told what was going on! "Phil?" Lisa asked. Knocking me out of my panic state. "Sorry. It's just that was my friend being rushed out" Lisa frowned and left me to find out what was going on and offered for me to come sit with her and her husband whenever i got lonely. I thanked her and ran off the front desk. She frowned and told me I'd have to wait for the doctor to come back.