P#1
So i am bored.I made up my mind,it was a terrible idea coming here.I can't believe i got sucked into going into one of these conferences.This bitch costed me 20 dollars and that's like 2 hours of work.
Anyways as i sit here,with my old friend Olga staring at my expression every five minutes,sometimes earlier than that.To see how i am feeling the speaker as it spoke of riches and opportunities that i can only dream of.And that it was more than truly possible if i go on ahead with their program/organization.My stomach gave signal.It was hungry and it needed to pee.
I to be honest thought i was in for a an unexpected relationship,with some girl from my elementary years whom i had a little thing for.But i guess this wasn't the case and instead i'am pulled into a recruitment stunt.And guess who's getting money for my participating in this event.She does not me.All i'am getting is three long hours of bullshit,that smells nice,and sounds nice as it hits the water,goes through smoothly as well,making for easy cleanup,but still i cannot tolerate another word of it.And knowing the nice person i'am,i try to subtlety project my interest for a lil while longer.As she once again gives me another checkup to see what i'am doing.
Her face was on a forced yet sorrowful way of showing happiness and excitement.Damn,she told me she's been here for quite a while.I don't really feel like judging her at this point.She's been kind to me ever since the day she invited me to a donut shop to talk about this opportunity that lead me to this conference today.
I wonder how she would react if i decide to leave or deny any more of her kind approach to move me forward into becoming what she hopes for herself as well,which is to be a success story.
Again as 5 more minutes pass by and the speaker of today,who was supposedly a Gold member meaning he's done pretty well...my friend who looked at him as if he was a God,forgot to check up on me.I know it's been five minutes since her last checkup on how i'm feeling about all this, as i had been checking the time on my phone every 2 minutes.Followed by my bladder demanding its function to be realized.
So as she stares deeply into her hero,into this Gold member as he talks about his house,his cars,his family and this golf buddies he had on this private island who are Gold members as well,i stood up and took a u turn over my chair and into a skinny walkway,as the conference room is littered with chairs,a full house,my friend Olga sees me and before any eye contact,decided to let it go as the speaker went on about his dog CHI CHI,and what a wonderfully cute dog it was,so she let me go.As she stared ahead instead,like the entire room of people who did not stare once at me as i move among their still body glued to their chairs.
I Am in the bathroom now,and wow,i am the only one here.Actually there was this one guy who was washing his hands quickly as he came out of the stall washroom and washed his hands seconds after the tap opened,not doing it right by adding soap to his hand and rinsing it for 15 seconds, he ran past me,like a speeding superhero,and i turned to follow him run for the door of the conference and there i heard his zipper go up,echoing.He must really want to hear about the Gold members dog named CHI CHI.I obviously laughed at what i saw,and a security guard in the corner laughed along with me.
Finally i relieved myself.My bladder no longer devoid of its demands.It was held in for almost 3 hours.It wasn't the right color too.Damn those energy drinks they gave me,they weren't any good for my health,and i saw one of them drink at least 4 in under half an hour.The next thing i know the paramedics will pick him up and toss him into a body bag because of a heart attack. Caffeine is no good in any way shape or form and the energy drink made me not want to look down at my personal time,as it only hurts to think what i put my body through.I also had their popcorn,energy bars and other food that i lied about being good. That's when i also felt like going #2 and i immediately complied with what i felt.This was the right place to do it.And i smiled menacingly as i did.
