Days With My Stranger (Two Shots)

Second Shot: The Letter

I thought my life is already perfect. I am beautiful, rich, and intelligent, and I have a happy family. Pero sa isang iglap, my world turned upside and down. When my Dad died, my hopes and dreams also died. Everything I had was lost.

Nawalan ng kulay ang buhay ko, nawalan ako ng dahilan para mabuhay pa. Back to zero kami ni Mama. It’s so difficult to stand up again from a greatest misery. Palaging sinasabi ni Mama na, everything will be okay. But when?

And there was another obstacle happened in my life. Akala ko simpleng sakit sa ulo lang, akala ko lumalabo lang ang mata ko, akala ko nawawalan lang ang sense of direction and balance ko. But when I went to the hospital for a check-up, my world started to crash. Akala ko simple lang, but I was wrong, so wrong.

Nalaman ko na lang, I have a brain cancer, and stage 4 na. I have no one to talk to; I have no shoulders to lean on. Isinumpa ko ang sarili ko, isinumpa ko ang buhay ko, isinumpa ko ang mundo.

I lost my interest in studying, and I lost crave for living. I feel so useless and aimless. Until I met someone, someone that I really don’t know. The first time we met, there was a voltage when our hands collide, there was magic when our eyes first met. And there were sparks when we first talked to each other.

Araw-araw ko siyang nakikita sa LRT. Sinasadya kong umupo malapit sa kanya dahil gusto ko siyang masilayan araw-araw. He is my inspiration. He saved my life from the misery. Ginanahan akong magpachemoteraphy kahit stage 4 na ko. My cousin always brings me to the hospital for my check-up. Walang alam si Mama sa nangyayari sakin. Akala niya pumapasok ako sa school pero ang totoo, nagpapasama ko sa pinsan ko sa ospital.

I can sense that the whole time I’m with my cousin; the guy I met is staring at me. Why he can’t do something? I want him to get jealous. I just want him, to protect me, to hold me, to have me.

Pagkabalik ko sa bahay ay biglang sumakit ang ulo ko ng sobrang sakit, the pain is unbearable, the pain is beyond painful. Sinabi ng pinsan ko ang totoo kay Mama. I was brought to the hospital and my doctor told me a very bad news. He told me that chemoteraphy won’t work. Himala na lng daw ang makakapagpagamot sakin. And he even told me that I only have 2 weeks left.

Sinulit ko ang mga natitirang araw ng buhay ko. Namasyal kami ni Mama sa kung saan saan. Kahit alam kong sobra na siyang nasasaktan. Pumupunta pa rin kami ng pinsan ko sa ospital to encourage other patient na magpachemo.

Ngayon na habang sinusulat ko ‘to, I only have 1 week left. And if there’s one thing that I would like to repeat in my life, I just want to meet him again, to know his name, to hold his hand, to feel his warmth. If I would be given a chance to enjoy my remaining days, I want to spend those days with my stranger.