Is It Bad (Interracial Urban Love Story)

Is It Bad (Interracial Love Story)

*******Prologue *********

Damn I did it once again. I got to stop doing this, I cant keep doing this to myself ... but i cant stop its like an adrenaline rush , i have to have it its like a drug that I just cant give up on. It's like that one pill you have to take to make yourself feel normal .

The feeling that I get when i do things like this. Do i regret it? ha no not one bit . Why have regret i'm still young why not have a little bit of fun, well in my case a lot of fun. Do i do this every night?, maybe depends on how i feel. or if he's willing to pay .

silk sheets displayed on my body, room silent hearing nothing but the sounds of moving cars coming from the outside, nothing but soft breathing coming from the half naked body placed beside me.

nothing but silence.. sitting up trying not to wake up the stranger beside me. as i slowly got out of his bed i made it to the bathroom, locking the door be hide me. i just stood there looking at myself in the mirror. admiring my beauty? no?

I was just standing there , looking at my reflection in the mirror. Don't ask me why cause i couldn't tell you. i grabbed a clean wash clothes from the self, turnt on the hot water to clean the smudged makeup off of my face,

I walked quietly back into the bedroom that i was staying out for the night i looked around the room trying to find more about the handsome gentlemen i just had intercourse with. By the way his room looked it was decent, white walls, king size bed, expensive furniture, from the looks of his room tells me he has a little bit of money .

walking around his room to pick up my remaining clothes that aren't on my body , putting them back on slowly putting on i grabbed my keys and phone and tip toed out quietly not trying to disturb anything. making it safely to me car, i sat in it wondering if he call me back...

but they never do. driving onto the freeway on my way home, i played around with the radio to find a decent station, i gave up and just turned it off,

I always wonder what go through those guys minds when they don't see me in the morning when they wake up. probably something like "she was good, or what was her name again" something like that. See i never stay the night or stay for a day, these guys can't even remember my name. but i can't be mad at them i do it to myself .

I'm nineteen and single i'm still young, i see nothing wrong with what i'm doing, its not illegal. its like friends with benefits, but their not my friends.

pulling up to my drive-thru of my house i notice a white SUV, meaning hanna has a friend over meaning he is staying the night. great just what i need. playing around in my bag trying to find my keys i finally find them.

walking inside the house the sweet aroma hits my face placing my bag on the kitchen counter i walked toward the fridge pulling out a coke and a handful of grapes. making my way to my room.

My room is my getaway . I'm away from everyone and i'm relaxed while i'm in here, i don't have to worry about anything or anyone just me myself and i. i always wonder what would my life be like if i didn't do what i do, but the way my life is set up i have to. its free money, and even if those guys don't love i feel loved for once night, i feel like they care about me even if they don't, its just a great feeling to feel wanted.

when i was younger my Mother died after giving birth to me, so it was just me and my father, my father didn't know how to raise me like a mother should so he would neglect me, he wouldn't take care of me so he left me to be with my grandmother. i was raised by her since i was three. so you can pretty much say i was raised to be a good little girl, ha no...

at the age 14 i lost my virginity at the age 16 i had my first pregnancy scare , 17 i was raped and abuse by a ex, who's's now in jail for it, and now at 19 i work for Eric. you're probably wonder who eric is, you could say eric is like my pimp but isn't a pimp he did some things for me and this was his way for me to pay him back. each night i get around $500-1000 dollars a night. depends on how much they have and what they do. one of Eric's rules, his most important rule is

"do not fall in love, do not make a relationship out of this"

whatever i make Eric gets 35% of it, Eric isn't in any gang that i know of, but he handles's his business, if you see eric on the streets you would think he was just some random white guy who took care of himself pretty well, but don't let the blue eyes fool you he's more than that, you can say he took after his dad who was like a boss basically he gets people to do his job and get his money.

me and eric had a lot of intercourse but it never meant anything. but i'm his #1. at least that's what he say. i never know what he means by that.

but i guess its a good thing because he never lets anything happen to me. he says i can stop all this and become his, but i don't want him either. i don't need a man i don't want a man, a man can't do anything but get in my way.

you can say i'm independent, i have a backbone, i don't need a man, but i need eric in a way .. i met eric when i was 17 we were close but today we are closer than we were before. eric you can say is my best friend but i work for him as well..