Life Is Not A Lemon

Chapter One: Ah life.

Life is not a lemon nor does it give any. It's sour, mean and damn near shitty. Well, in a way maybe it is a lemon.

I hate lemons.

I guess one thing is for sure, in this life, or in any that I may end up living in, I will never find "THE ONE".

Ha ha ha ha! My parents can't even pull their shit together to love this little piece of crap called Simon. I mean, they left me to my aunt, which by the way treated me like trash. Pushed me around, ordered me like I was her maid and constantly reminded me that no one loves me. To top that off, she made me sleep in the basement. Oh that creepy, storage/basement that feels like it's haunted. Not only that! She also has that obnoxious twin daughters, Lara and Sasha. If their mother weren't nagging at me, they were.

I'm like Cinderella basically. Only I'm a man, poor and I have no princess waiting for me.

Ok , Simon. Inhale. Exhale.

"SIMON VICTOR VALENTINE!"

That's me. And that woman as shouting us my demented, retched, crazy, fat and ugly aunt Marianne. Ok, maybe fat, crazy and ugly is going a bit too overboard. What the heck. She has an attitude so ugly, she could've taken the place of the devil.

"WHAT'RE YOU STILL DOING LYING IN BED?! CLEAN THE DAMN HOUSE!!!" My god, that voice is irritating. Can't wait till school starts again.

"Coming." To hell with it, I have nothing to do anyway.

"I want this house sparkly clean! Everything should be spiff and well arranged. People will be coming, very important people. I don't want you going anywhere near them unless you're told. You are not to stare! Understand, rodent?" See? Evil.

"You're the rodent" I said under my breathe.

"WHAT?" Oops. I think she heard me.

"Nothing, my beautiful miss." Nice save.

She glared at me and went to the door.

Time to get to work then. I clapped and the maids aligned and I told them what to do, where to do it, and how to do it. You may think that I may be a wee bit bossy. I know, but I'm kind to them, unlike my demon of an aunt. And I myself clean others and help them in setting things up.

When I was a kid, I would see my aunt shouting orders at them and shouting even more when she didn't like what she saw. Sometimes even messing things up to see them suffer. As years went by she gave me orders too, doing what she did to the others to lil' Simon. There was one point in my early teens when all the maids quit and my aunt pour all the work on me.

Well, I don't want these damsels to experience the anger and evilness of my aunt. Better me then them.

We got to work and wasted no second. The girls seemed to like that; they saved their breaks for last. In no less than four were done. The mansion looked spiff and nice. I grabbed some carpets from the cabinet and set them in front of the door.

Fantastic. I looks just like the movies. The red carpet ran from the doorway up the two curved stairs and into the dining room. We opened the chandelier to light up the room complimenting Grandiose design of the lobby and the reflection on the marble floor. And then at the top of the stair case, we will welcome and assist the guest to their seats.

In the dining hall lies the long table made of barnished redwood was filled to the brim with delicious, mouth-watering dishes with well arranged sets of silverware. We tied the curtains to reveal the beauty of the gardens outside where tall bushes and modeled hedges stood. We lit all lights to show the amazing Victorian era design of the dining room. By the sides stood armors of knights that seemed to stand guard. And we closed all other doors to other sections of the house, except for the restrooms.

Ah, it was a beautiful sight. All the maids seem to agree. Afterwards we went to the mess hall and took a break. Each grabbed a meal of their choice. My pick was cordon bleu with rice sided with mash potato. I sat down with the maids just beside my best friend, Kaylin. She was the head of all the maids.

"Nice work, Simon. We really did a good job." She complimented.

"Hey, I didn't do much. You guys did." I said.

"Oui, mate. Don't give us all the credit. We may have done the work but the design was all you." Now that was Jack, our head chef. "I mean look at the food. Fantastic presentation. If not given a sample, my crew would've just given the ordinary."

"Yeah, Vic. Cheer up. You did good." That was Fred, the house's head butler. He's like Alfred. All around capable guy. He's the one who I go to when I have things that I can't really seem to figure out.

"Yeah. Well, let's hope that the monster and her spawns like what we do." I told them. They all laughed.

After a few hours we all prepared for their arrival, freshening up and changing clothes to look more presentable. I changed into a comfortable white long-sleeve shirt and put on my vest then wore my black dolce and gabbana suit. I wore my favorite bright red bow tie to compliment the dark color of my suit. To match, I wore pants and my best pair of leather shoes of the same color. There, I look rich now. A rich butler. I walked out the door and looked my absolute best. I just wish I get respected the same.

The maids were positioned as well as the butlers and waiters. We waited for the first batch of guest to arrive.

Naturally, Madame Marianne came in first, wearing her business formal clothes. Then came the twins, who wore matching everything. I mean, matching earrings, necklaces and makeup, even wearing the same blouse which was crimson red with black mini skirt. They had four inch high stilettos that made wobble from side to side. From the looks of it, they can fall down any moment. Please do.

They inspected the scenery and looked at every detail. They frowned at the perfection that we had done. (They smile when they see something wrong that they can blame on me.) Too bad. They quickly went up to the dining room, followed by Kaylin and Fred.

I waited with the others to welcome the other visitors. Not a moment later and cars started rolling in, about six of them: Three black limos, a Lamborghini Aventador, an Audi R8, and an Enzo Ferrari. The maids opened the doors of the cars while the valets took the car key and parked them. I, on the other hand, assisted them to the dining room doorway where Kaylin and Fred were so they could assist them to their respected seats.

Most of them were Aunt Marianne's friend and business associates like Mr. Stylington with His daughter Vanessa, and Mr. Jackal with his wife. Most of them already knew me by face and tried ignoring me at a certain degree. Mr. Stylington, on the other hand likes to keep it casual.

"Good Evening, Mr. Stylington." I smiled.

"How many times do I have to tell you, dear. call me Steve." He patted my shoulder and gave me a wink. "Oh, by the way, have you ever met my beautiful daughter Vanessa? You two should get to know each other. You're about the same age."

"Daddy, stop!" She blushed from embarrassment and went her own way as she was assisted by Kaylin.

"She likes you." Mr. Stylington laughed. I know it was a joke so I just laughed with.

I was about to close the main doors when I saw another car that went down the drive way. It was a simple green sedan, unlike the luxurious vehicles that arrived earlier. And sure enough, as the door opened, out came a simple person. And, my god, was she a beautiful woman. Her blonde and wavy hair waved side to side as she walked. Her open coat blew against the wind revealing her summer dress. As she drew nearer, I saw the fantastic storm color of her eyes, grey as the clouds can be. and her face was perfect in every way. She took off her coat and handed it to me.

"Would you be a dear and hang this for me?" She looked at me with those beautiful eyes.

"I-I... ah.. sure." I took the coat with my right arm and presented my other arm for assistance.

"Why thank you, young gentleman." She gladly slipped her arm inside and I helped her up the stairs. I couldn't help but ask who this unfamiliar face is.

"You seem rather new. Who are you?" I asked while I escorted her to Fred.

"A good question," She flicked my nose, "for another time." She left off with Fred, into the night, shrouded in mystery.