Lost in Her Absence

Her voice was the sweetest sound I've ever heard, her laugh raised the spirits of the dead, her smile reflected the morning star, her fragrance was unique and enticing, I am a violent, angry, cold and dark person unworthy of the queen she is but it seems the monster in me can only be checked by the angel in her. The only heaven I've ever known is being alone with her. She turned my life around for the better, she brought me joy, thoughtfulness and peace. Her teachings served me well, reminding me everyday that I don't have to be the creature I am. Though we came such a far way, she left, an act that once again turned my life, only this time it was a bitter turn, now I face hell every morning I wake up knowing she isn't mine. I am determined to have her back, I'm afraid she'll never want me back, these thoughts render me sleepless and mentally broken. I may be willing to chase her to the ends of the earth, never to be tired but forever exhausted of the days that I go by without her. It's been months of this excruciating pain, nothing hurts more than the thought that I lost her. The desperation to have her back is more than just me missing her, she was the centre piece to my puzzling life story, she was the tiny screw in my life that held everything together, without her, I am left to drown in my demons alone, forever to be tormented. I often wonder where did I go wrong, I continue to climb this endless mountain hoping to fulfill her expectations. I am afraid to open fully to anyone but her, who else would display such compassion and understanding. A beautiful girl is easy to find but a queen is quite rare, that's exactly what she is, she is scarred by events that took place in her life as well as the ones that occur even now, but I see none as strong as her, as brave and as determined as her, she wasn't just my girlfriend, she was my soul mate, I wonder if she held me at such high regards. I can't be sure how she feels, I can only speak for myself and highlight the fact that I'm sure I would turn out to be the best one for her, maybe not now, I am broken, but not beyond repair, I will be patient as I am determined, the universe will lead me back to her if and when the time is right, happily ever after it was not, but sometimes, even the worst endings, are not endings at all.