Right Here Waiting

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“Elmo Magalona tinanggihan ang mga proyektong kasama si Julie Anne San Jose.”

“Elmo Magalona at Lauren Young spotted sa Bali, Indonesia.”

“Teen actress in-unfollow sa Twitter at Instagram ang ka-loveteam ng nobyong singer actor.”

“Pamilyang Magalona ayaw kay Julie Anne San Jose.”

“JuliElmo buwag na nga ba?”

“Nanay ng young singer actor nilait and ka-loveteam nito.”

“Elmo Magalona pulled out from Villa Quintana.”

Sobrang dami ng issues tungkol sa akin, sa amin. I can’t really say that all of them are not true. Alam naman nating lahat na may pinag-uugatan ang mga issue na ibinabato nila sa akin. Maraming dagdag bawas ang nangyayari pero may bahid pa rin ito ng katotohanan kahit papano.

Hindi ko na talaga alam ang aking gagawin. Ni hindi ko na nga alam kung sino ba talaga ako eh. Lahat na ng mahal ko sa buhay nasasaktan. Pati ako sobrang nasasaktan na sa mga nangyayari pero wala naman akong ibang masisi kundi sarili ko. I really hope Pop was still here. I really need some guidance and sad to say, I can’t get that from my mom in this situation.

You see, my relationship with my mom and my sisters hasn’t been that smooth sailing lately. They have been forcing me to do things that I don’t like. Nasasakal na ako masyado sa kanila at ang mahirap pa sa lahat ay hindi nila makita at maintindihan ang mga bagay na nakakapagpasaya sakin. For the longest time I have been doing as they say because I believed that they’re doing it for my sake but as I’m growing up, little by little I realized that they’re not giving me any freedom anymore. They’re not simply looking out for me. They’re making me do things for their benefit. The saddest part is that I can’t even defend myself nor my happiness to them. Not until this morning at least…And it wasn’t a beautiful sight.

Hindi ko na kinaya, sumabog na ako kanina at nasigawan ko pa sina Mom. I didn’t mean to but they weren’t listening to me. Ayoko na sa ginagawa nila. Pilit nilang nilalayo ang mga bagay na nakakapagpasaya sa akin at higit sa lahat, nasasaktan na nila ang mga taong importante sa buhay ko. Napuno na ako and I knew for a fact that it’s time na ipaglaban ko na ang sarili ko at ang aking kaligayahan.

Hindi naging maganda ang sagutan naming nina ate at Mom kanina. Maraming masasakit na salita ang nabitawan ko and I regret some of it but they have to finally realize that I’m not a little boy anymore. But overall, hindi ko pinagsisisihan yung ginawa ko. Nahihiya ako kay Pop kasi for sure hindi siya proud sa nagawa ko pero because of what I did, I somehow got their respect and my freedom. Hindi kami 100 percent okay nina Mom especially when I said that I’m planning to leave for a while but we have settled on a compromise. We’ll be civil towards each other and they’ll let me leave. When I come back, then maybe we can mend this broken relationship.

It’s hard to turn my back on my family but what else can I do when they’re the ones causing me this pain. I am beyond confused and I have no idea what to do next. I really need my Pop right now. I just can’t handle this anymore.

@SuperElmo: Pop, I need you now more than ever. Please guide me.

Out of desperation, I called the person who has become my father for the past three years. I was hesitant to call him at first kasi marami na din akong kasalanan sa kanya pero siya lang talaga ang makakatulong sakin ngayon. I asked if we could meet up at this coffee shop and he kindly said yes. I was on the verge of crying when he agreed; I did my best to hold up my emotions but I simply couldn’t stop the tears from falling. Sobrang sakit na talaga.

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⏰ Last updated: Nov 19, 2013 ⏰

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