Anathema

End of April, Beggining May.

On April 25 (a Friday night) I received a message from  boy I did not know, but I sort of recognized him.

I was just scrolling through Facebook one night when out of the blue I received a message from a boy named Isaac.

Isaac: Hey :)
Me: Hey, do we know each other?
Isaac: Well you said you liked my shirt one time and I just wanted to talk to you.
Me: Oh, lol what did your shirt have on it?
Isaac: it was an Iron Maiden shirt
Me: No wonder I complimented you cx
Isaac: haha yeah...you're really pretty.
Me: Oh, thanks.
Him: We should hang out sometime. Like at school, in the morning if you want?
Me: Yeah sure, that'd be cool.
Me: I'm super tired, talk whenever. Sweet nightmares c:
Him: sweet dreams hun.

It was a weird conversation and I wasn't too keen on hanging out with him. The next day I called Vanessa and asked if she knew anything about this Isaac guy. The only thing she knew was that he used to date this girl she had a class with and he was a Junior.

I wasn't very trusting anymore and I honestly didn't want to date anyone but what harm could hanging out with the guy do? I told Vanessa I would hang out with him and I'd give her all the details later. She giggled a goodbye into the phone and hung up.

I spent Sunday scrolling through this Isaac-guy's profile. I was and still am a pro at internet stalking. There wasn't a lot of information to gain. He didn't post very much, just a few memes and stuff other people would write on his wall.

A lot of girls wrote things on his wall and tagged him in pictures. This made me even more suspicious of him. I could tell he wasn't a sweet as he led himself on to be.

Monday finally arrived and I woke up to my alarm buzzing at 5:30 as always. I rolled out of bed and threw on a pair of jeans and a shirt that says "Drop Knowledge Not Bombs" (I've had that shirt since 5th grade and I still wear it.) I said a quick goodbye to my mom as I slipped into my grey sweater and head out the door.

The morning is nice, warm but I can still wear a sweater. Sweaters are my favourite article of clothing. I walk to the bus stop while listening to Paramore. I arrive at the stop as the bus pulls up and I step on and slide into my preferred seat (seat two on the right side if you're facing the back).

I get comfortable and stare out my window at passing cars and trees and houses. Eventually I doze to sleep. When I wake up again I notice Austin is sitting in the seat across from me once again. I just ignore how annoyed I am at that as I scroll through my music looking for something more upbeat.

Finally I settle on Float On by Modest Mouse. That song always makes me happy, just because he's saying that basically life goes on. As we arrive at school I get my bag together and squish my way into the isle to get off of the bus.

I walk to the library, Isaac sent me a message that morning telling me to meet him there. It's locked so I wait at the table in front of it, I scroll through my music trying to find something to listen to. I finally settle on Ludo.

After a while of waiting I decide to just go find my little group of friends. I didn't care if he didn't show up I just didn't want to be alone. Now that I had friends I was always bugging them and wanting to be around them. I realized how much I really did hate being alone.

I got up to leave the table turning on my heal when I bump into to someone. My face square in their chest, so I know it's a boy. I look up to find Isaac, he wraps his arms around my waist and for some reason I actually let him.

I choke out a small "hello" as I try to untangle myself from him. He smiles and unwraps his arms from my waist. He just says, "Let's walk around," I simply nod and we're on our way. I do the completely middle school thing; I let my arm, the one closest to him, hang down by waist. Just to see if he would hold my hand, he didn't. His hands were snug in his pockets.

We walked all the way around campus until we're we by the "Arts" building. That building has all of the fun classes in it: Art, Band, Drama, Pottery, and Photography. Anyways, we were behind the arts building when Isaac finally said something, "I think you're really pretty and I don't know I just, I just want to-" he cut himself off by attaching his lips to mine.

I didn't freak out or push him away, I just let him kiss me for a few moments, then I started kissing him back. We stayed there kissing for a while, the bell rang and we pulled ourselves away from each other sheepishly. I felt my face heat up when I saw his swollen lips and blushing face.

He smiled shyly and walked me to my class, not holding hands. Once we arrived he said, "Um, this morning was nice....can we hang out again for lunch, Bliss?" I smiled and nodded then headed inside my classroom.

The next week and a half went on like this, we would walk around, make out behind some building, then go our separate ways. Then Isaac decided to ask me out.

I walked out of my class to go meet Monica and Tyler so we could meet Alexis and Vanessa. Right when I waved to Tyler, Isaac grabbed my arm. I turned to him and looked back to Tyler with anxiety written all over my face. I hated when people grabbed me, it reminded me of Cameron. Tyler began walking towards us when Isaac blurted, "Bliss, will you go out with me?" I just looked at him blankly before chuckling, "Is this a joke?" He looked at me in confusion, my eyes widened, "Oh, it's not a joke.? Well, Isaac, as much as I like making out with you, we've only exchanged a few words. I don't really think a relationship is a very good idea."

He stared at me for a moment before relief dominated his face, "Oh my god, thank you. I thought you were one of those people that had to be going out with someone to mess around." My turn to be confused. He shrugged, "I kind of just want to sleep with you."

I thought I was going to throw up, it felt like Cameron talking to me. I looked up at Isaac and shook my head, "This is nothing like that." He looked like a sad puppy and I just wanted to slap him. Tyler had been watching from a few feet away before he walked up and asked if there was a problem. I shook my head and said, "Goodbye, Isaac," before walking away with Tyler.

Finally we met with the rest of our group and I shared the story. They all looked at me with sympathy, and Alexis piped up, "You did the right thing, I mean like, not dating him or sleeping with him. I've heard he's kind of a whore." I nodded, "Yeah I can see that."

I really wasn't sad over it at all, making out with him was fun, I just didn't want to sleep with him. At this point sex kind of scared me. It was weird, I liked the idea of sex, I just didn't trust anyone enough.