Anathema

The End of My Freshman Year.

In the middle of May Austin and Autumn began dating again, it upset me but I wasn't going to bother. As the year came to a close, people began breaking up everywhere. Couples were arguing all over campus, it was honestly a little interesting to watch.

At one point a couple had an actual physical fight. The boy tried to slap her and she actually beat the shit out of him. It was the best thing I had ever seen. When security came to get her I smiled at her and gave her a thumbs up, she smiled back and waved. For some reason, watching that girl stand up for herself like that made me really happy.

Nothing interesting happened until the last two weeks of school. I received a message from Austin, I didn't feel like opening it so I waited a few days.

Austin: hey, I need to apologize to you. I should've trusted you.

I didn't reply right away, I waited a few hours. I made a group chat with Alexis, Tyler, Vanessa and Monica. I sent a screenshot of the message and waited for the analysis from my friends.

Tyler: He's dumb, don't message him. I've never liked him.
Alexis: do whatever makes you happy, honey. Just be careful.
Vanessa: see what he has to say to you before you make any rash decisions. We'll be here for you.

And Monica was busy at the time so I didn't get any analysis from her. I decided to go with Alexis and Vanessa's advice; see what he has to say. Tyler's advice kind of threw me off but I ignored it.

Me: It's fine, I understand. You heard a lot of things and they got to you.
Austin: I really should've believed you, you were faithful and now I'm with a girl who isn't.
Me: how do you know?

He sent me screenshots of messages between Autumn and other boys, she was flirting pretty hardcore.

Me: wow that's brutal, I'm sorry.
Austin: I guess it's karma
Me: Really, don't worry about what happened between us, it's okay.
Austin: but I miss you. Like a lot. When we broke up I wanted to cry. Like I lost you again.

I sent screenshots of that to the group chat, receiving in depth analysis from Alexis and Vanessa. And then there was Tyler...

Tyler: this kid is so stupid. Really, Bliss, you should just ignore him. You deserve someone way better.
Vanessa: Well maybe he does miss you but to me it just seems like he's upset because he's not the centre of attention. Ask why he hasn't broken up with her.
Alexis: that's weird. I think I agree with Vanessa here.

I was still really thrown off by Tyler and again I took Alexis and Vanessa's advice.

Me: If autumn is so unfaithful, why haven't you broken up with her?
Austin: I guess I just like the attention but I was planning to break up with her soon.
Me: Well I think you need some time to yourself honestly...
Austin: I wanna be with you, Bliss.
Me: Not now. You need to sort things out with Autumn and you need to sort yourself out too..
Austin: Idk,,I have to go now.
Me: okay, Austin. I hope things work out..

I sent the screenshots to the group chat. Vanessa and Alexis thought I handled the situation very well. Tyler had some different thoughts;

Tyler: You're being such a pushover. Why don't you just tell him to go away? He's an idiot.
Me: Tyler, what the hell is your problem tonight?
Tyler: Just message me out of the group chat.

I had no idea what was going on. Tyler was being extremely weird about this Austin situation. I messaged him outside of the chat:

Me: What is up with you tonight? On your man period?
Tyler: I just don't like the idea of you getting back together with Austin. I don't like him.
Me: We've just had some misunderstandings, that's all. He's a good person.
Tyler: you're too good for him.
Me: I don't know why you're bringing all of this up now.
Tyler: ok I'll be honest with you. I'm jealous of Austin. I was jealous of Isaac too.
Me: I don't understand? Why are you jealous, you don't even swing for my team.
Him: I know that captain obvious. I don't really know why I'm jealous, I just am.
Me: Well I don't know what to tell you. If I get back together with Austin, I hope it doesn't mess up our friendship.
Him: it won't I promise.
Me: well I'm pretty exhausted. Sweet nightmares dude.
Him: goodnight, bliss.

Even though it was dumb, the fact that Tyler was jealous made me happy.
----------------------------------------------

On the last day of school nothing really happened. Monica and Tyler didn't attend school so it was just me, Alexis and Vanessa. We just walked around and gossiped about people we didn't like.

Over the last two months Alexis and I had become close friends. I was happy she decided she wanted me around.

As the day came to an end Vanessa and Alexis went home, Vanessa's mom picked them up. They asked if I wanted a ride but I kindly declined. I wanted to ride the bus, just for the aesthetic of it.

I waited in my spot for them to say the busses were leaving and as I waited Cameron walked up. He sat down in front of me and I raised an eyebrow at him. He looked like he hadn't slept in days. He smiled weakly and said, "I wanted to tell you, I'm moving to Utah." Now I smiled. My biggest problem at school was finally leaving.

He just stared at me for a minute before having the audacity to say, "I'm going to miss you, Bliss." I looked at him blankly before asking, "Why? Why would you even miss me?" He looked at the concrete, searching for an answer. Finally he spoke, "I'm not sure, I just know I'll never forget you."

I laughed at this statement, "That's saying a lot for just 'wanting to fuck me'." He sighed in defeat. He knew I wasn't putting up with it anymore. I really couldn't put up with it anymore. It was too much, too exhausting.

Finally the bell rang, notifying me that I could go to the bus. I got up, looked down at Cameron and said, "I hope you never do what you did to me to anyone else. I sure as hell won't miss you, Cameron Brewer. Goodbye and good riddance." With that, I walked away, as I put in my headphones.

Upon arriving at the bus, I ran into Austin. I mean, I literally ran into him. I was trying to switch songs on my iPod when I walked straight into him. He looked at me like a lost puppy as I apologized profusely. Finally he smiled saying, "It's okay, Bliss." I nodded and walked onto the bus, sitting in my preferred seat. Without asking, Austin sat next to me.

I didn't complain, I just played Flappy Bird on my iPod. (This was back before Flappy Bird was taken off the market.) After a few minutes, Austin just grabbed my iPod and turned off the screen. I scrunched up my eyebrows at him in confusion and he said in a childlike manner, "Pay attention to me."

I just shrugged, reaching for my iPod only to have it pulled from my grasp. He smirked at me as I scowled at him. We played this game for a few minutes before I finally was able to take my iPod away from him. He pouted like a small child and it was my turn to smirk.

The playful banter was seemingly over so I put my headphones in but a few seconds later Austin was poking my side. I'm very ticklish on my sides so immediately I began laughing. I pushed his hands away but he continued. Finally I had to hold both of his hands in my hands. He smiled at me, this huge cheesy smile and I let go of his hands.

I frowned at him, "You are dating Autumn." He looked like at me like he was going to cry and I turned away from him, looking out the window at passing cars and trees and houses. Finally we were at my stop, I looked at Austin, "I'll miss you, have a nice summer. Hopefully we'll talk." He still looked like he was going to cry as he said, "You too, Bliss. Have a good summer."

My walk home was silent and full of thoughts of Austin and the future. I wanted to be with him but he needed time, even if he didn't want to admit that.

In all, I was just glad school was over. I survived my first year of high school and I was hopeful and nervous for the year to come.