Anathema

In June.

Summer school started in the beginning of June. Lucky for me, Alexis had summer school too and our friendship grew even stronger during this time. I was grateful we were friends.

Summer school was really easy, way easier than taking the class. The teacher could stop and help me and she didn't care if I listened to music or talked to Alexis while I worked.

June was the best month of my summer vacation that year, now that I think of it.
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A few weeks into summer vacation Austin messaged me saying, simply:

"Autumn and I are no longer a going concern."

I didn't reply for a few days. I still thought he needed time to himself, Austin tended to jump into one relationship after the other. I wanted to give him time.

I talked to Alexis about it during summer school and she told me she thought it was really caring for me to give him time even if he didn't think he needed it. I really did like Austin, I still thought that maybe I might love him a little bit.

Finally I decided, after half a week of ignoring Austin, I should reply to his message. That was long enough, right?

Me: Hey, sorry I haven't been around lately.
Austin: It's ok. How's your summer?
Me: pretty boring. I have summer school until July 2 so yeah. Wby?
Austin: Aw that sucks. And my summer has been boring too.
Me: I'm sorry to hear that. I've missed seeing you around.
Austin: I've missed you too, a lot.
Me: Well I'm used to sleeping on you now lol you're like a teddy bear cx
Austin: Am I your teddy bear? Cx
Me: Haha yes. You're my teddy bear and ONLY mine c:
Austin: Okay okay, I'm yours only ^-^

Our conversation went on this way, is flirting and being dumb, until around one in the morning. I told Austin I would text him while I was at school the next day. And with that I fell asleep.

The next day arrived and like I promised, I texted Austin. Alexis noticed the cheesy smile plastered on my face and asked, "Who are you texting?" She ended her question with a smirk and I smiled even bigger. She giggled and questioned me, "Is it....Austin!?" I nodded my head and smiled stupidly finally speaking, "I think we might be getting back together soon."

Alexis cooed at me like a grandmother looking at a cute couple, even though Austin wasn't there with me. Suddenly I noticed two boys staring at Alexis and me. I turned to them realizing I had my science class with them. The science class that I never talked during except for that one time when I yelled at Mark Pearson for talking bad about Tyler.

They looked really shocked, so I simply smiled at them. Finally one of them spoke up, his name is Steven, "Hey, sorry, I didn't mean to stare. Um, I've never seen you really talk except for that one time you yelled at Mark." I smiled at the memory, Mark really did look scared of me. I'm 5'2 and 140 pounds, he is 6'0 and I'd say about 200 pounds. I shrugged at Steven and said, "He deserved to be yelled at. I just don't talk to a lot of people, but I'm nice, I think." I ended my sentence with a smile.

I really did like talking to people, anxiety just messed me up sometimes. Steven smiled back at me and said, "It's good to hear you talk, you seem cool. And yeah Mark definitely deserved to be yelled at." I just said a simple thanks and returned to my work. I wanted to get it done as soon as possible.

*A few days later*
Of course when things seem to be going well something dumb always happens.

I was on the phone with Austin when I asked, "Soooo, teddy bear, I'm only asking because you haven't asked me yet....um..will you go out with me?" I was extremely nervous because I had never asked anyone out before. There was only silence on his side of the phone which made me even more nervous. Finally after what felt like a million years he said quietly, "Bliss, I have to tell you something."

I could feel my heart fall in my chest, something awful was about to happen. I managed to croak, "Okay, what is it?" He was silent again for a few moments them said, "I'm already dating someone." I thought my heart was actually going to fall out of my chest, "What.?" I barely whispered, I was trying not to cry. He sighed deeply, "I like you, I really do. But this girl she really liked me and I felt bad and so now we're dating. I don't know."

Now I was really crying, I sniffled into the phone, "What the fuck Austin?" You could hardly hear me at this point. Austin sighed once again, "I'm sorry, Bliss." Suddenly I blurted without thinking, "Who is she?" He was silent for a while before quietly saying, "I don't really want to tell you." I felt a pain in my chest, do I know her?

"Just tell me, that's the least you could do." My voice shook a bit at the end of my sentence. Finally he said a name, "Karena," I sucked in air and exhaled slowly trying to calm myself. Karena was one of my friends in middle school, I knew her well. After some silence on my end of the phone I said, "I can't do this anymore, Austin. It's me or her. And this is really your last chance with me. I can't deal with this anymore."

He was silent for a solid minute so I said, "I have to go, you need to figure things out already. I'm so tired of this. I'm not going to be around forever."  Before I hung up I heard Austin whisper, "I know,"

I was extremely upset about the phone call but I decided it wouldn't help me to sit around and be sad. Instead, I cleaned out my entire room. I threw away a bunch of old clothes and other useless junk. It made me feel better to clean.

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A few days later I received a call from Austin. I wasn't ready to talk to him yet so I ignored the call. This went on for another day before I finally answered him.

"Hello?" I answered in a slightly hostile tone. I didn't want him to think I was okay with what he did. He went straight into a speech, "I know what I did was wrong and I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. But me and Karena are done. I want to be with you, you told me to choose and I did. I want you. I understand if you can't forgive me but please just try." He sounded very shaken at the end.

He was silent so I assumed it was my turn to speak, "What you did hurt me so much. I really thought you wanted me but then I found out you were just talking to Karena the whole time. It wasn't cool. I want to be with you, Austin, but don't put me through this again please. I can't take anymore of that." He was quiet, then, "So does this mean we're back together?" I could just hear the smile in his voice. I smirked, "Yeah, asshole, we're together again."

As soon as I said 'together again' Austin promptly began singing The Muppets song "Together Again" 
I laughed and everything felt normal again.

Later in June I read the amazing book The Fault in Our Stars. I made Alexis read it, I told her she had too otherwise we were not friends anymore, I was kidding but it got her to read it.

We both loved the book, and the movie was in theatres at the time so we convinced our parents to let us go see it after summer school one day. We walked into the dark room while the previews were showing and I already knew I would love the movie just as much as the book.

We sat there balling our eyes out at the end of the movie. Alexis sobbed quietly and I wiped my eyes quickly. The movie was perfect, it definitely did the book justice.

After we finally composed ourselves enough to leave, we waited outside for my uncle to pick us up. Finally we were on our separate ways home and I felt really happy.

Things were really going my way. I had a boyfriend, I had some really great friends, I was about to get my credit for Algebra. Things were looking up.