Anathema

An Innapropriate Visit

One day about a week after Austin and I began dating I decided to invite him to my house. I told my mom that he was going to borrow a book, which he was.

I made him a bet, that he wouldn't read The Fault in Our Stars. Spoiler alert: I won that bet.

So he came over and my mom questioned him but we kept it a secret that we were dating. My mom has never been fond of me dating.

We sat outside, out of my mom's sight. We talked a lot and laughed about stupid things. I gave him a head start in the book and read the first chapter to him. After a while he kissed me lightly on the lips, I'm not sure why but suddenly I wanted him in a new way.

Our relationship had never been sexual, we weren't a very touchy couple. But I found myself kissing him harder, pushing him against the wall we were hiding behind.

He grunted which made me a little confident. My hands traveled up into his hair, tugging on it. He wrapped his arms around my waist pulling me into him and I let out a small sigh. He began kissing my neck, down to my collarbone where he planted small kisses and nibbled a little bit. I let out a moan I didn't know I was holding in.

Austin looked up at me and stated bluntly, "That was hot." I felt my cheeks heat up at his comment and I began kissing him again, this time I kissed his neck. I bit down on his neck softly and he let out a small moan. I smirked and looked up at him, "That was hot," I smiled stupidly at him.

Then I heard the front door open and footsteps heading towards us. I peeled myself away from Austin and stood about a foot away from him. My mom walked up and looked at us with suspicion written all over her face. I feigned innocence, "Is dinner ready?" I asked. She stared at Austin for a second before answering, "Yeah, you have ten more minutes." I nodded and my mom continued eyeing Austin until he said, "Oh, it's no trouble. I could leave now if you'd like."

My mom looked a bit shocked, then put on a fake smile and said, "Oh no it's okay, you can stay." Austin smiled, his smile was genuine though. My mom turned on her heal and walked back inside.

Austin smirked at me when she was gone, "So what was that all about?" Extra emphasis on the 'that', he was talking about the intense make out session we just had. We never made out like that before.

I could feel the blood rush to my cheeks and I looked down at my hands, "Um, I don't know," then I started overthinking things, "Well I mean, we don't have to do that. Like make out like that. I don't know, I just-" but I was cut off by Austin kissing me quite aggressively. This time I was pinned up against the wall.

He ran his hands up and down my sides which sent a rush up my spine. He reached around and rested his hands on my lower back, almost touching my butt. It made me happy that he didn't touch my butt right away, like he was waiting for a signal from me. I had my hands tangled in his hair when he put his hands under my shirt, not touching my breasts, just resting on my stomach.

He broke the kiss, looking in my eyes he asked shyly, "Can I?" A rush of affection and appreciation washed over me, he asked permission. I nodded and one hand traveled up and rested on my boob, over my bra. He kissed my neck, down to my chest gently and that was when I got nervous.

I pulled away, making Austin pretty confused and said, "We should stop, if my mom catches us, wow. That would not be good." He nodded in understanding, "Yeah, you're right." He hugged me and whispered something under his breath.

I looked at him with confusion, "What did you say?" I could've sworn he said he loved me. When I asked, his cheeks burned red. He stared at the ground and shyly said, "Nothing." He sounded like a child who had just been scolded.

I smiled and simply said, "Alright, you don't have to tell me." He looked up from the ground and into my eyes, "It's not that I don't want to tell you, I'm just not ready to tell you." His nervousness gave me a rush of affection, usually I was the nervous wreck. But here's this boy standing in front of me wearing an Iron Maiden shirt and his black jeans, with his long floppy dark brown hair and he's so nervous about wanting to tell me something.

And I think I loved him. Just a little..

I took two steps towards him and hugged him then planted a kiss on his cheek. Just then I heard the front door open once again so I walked Austin to my front gate. Austin thanked my mom for letting him come over and he thanked me for letting him borrow the book. We didn't live far away from each other so he walked home.

Once I was inside eating dinner my mom finally asked the inevitable question, "So, is he your boyfriend?" She asked in the most malicious tone. I started to get nervous and I tried to stay calm as I answered, "Nope, we're just friends. I made him a bet that he wouldn't read The Fault in Our Stars" she scrunched up her eyebrows before asking, "What is that?" I smiled, "It's this really cool book and I love it, remember you let me go to the movies with Alexis to see it. The movie was so good too and-" then she cut me off, "Oh, the cancer book."

I stared at my food, "Yeah, the cancer book. But it's not just about cancer." I shovelled pasta into my mouth to avoid more conversation as things became awkward. Finally I finished my plate and washed the dishes. Then I told my mom I was going to take a shower and go to bed.

And that's exactly what I did, I fell asleep thinking of what Austin might've wanted to tell me, hoping he wanted to tell me that he loved me.