My Baby You'll Be (Laurmani)

9

She didn't mean to say it, at all. No matter how much she meant it and how much she wanted Normani to know it, she didn't mean to let those words escape her lips. It was too soon. But it slipped and there was nothing she could do now.

Her heart was racing and doing back flips inside of her chest and Normani's heart was doing the same. It wasn't the normal flutters that it had been doing all day with Lauren. Instead it was pounding out of her chest. BOOM..BOOM.. BOOM.

She cleared the lump in her throat and tried to find the words to say. She indeed did love Lauren but was she in love with her, no. Not yet at least. Well she wasn't sure if she was or not.

She wondered if Lauren even meant it or if she was just at a high from the most magical of kisses.

They both weren't looking at eachother anymore Normani looked upwards at the sky and Lauren looked down, her gaze traveled to an unknown place in the dark night. No matter how quiet and beautiful the night was, it was not one bit calming in this moment.

Normani found the strength to bring her eyes back down and look at the pale girl who had just confessed her love. "Lauren I don't want to hurt you.. Or your feelings" she sighed "Thats the last thing I want to do. But I'm just.. I'm just not in love with you. Right now at least."

To say the words stung would be an understatement. Somewhere deep down inside Lauren had thought that possibly Normani would say it back and that she would mean it. Tears started to form in her eyes but she didn't dare to let one fall. She didn't want to cry.

The tears were there for two reasons however. One being how bad it felt to be denied and two being how stupid she felt for ruining the moment and night as a whole.

Lauren's expression was unreadable, she just stared blankly. Along with everything else she felt she was even a little embarrassed. She had many emotions radiating through her body at once and Normani couldn't even read one of them.

"I want to love you Lauren, I want to be in love with you" she spoke again breaking the silence "I just don't want to say something I don't mean, it's just really soon" she breathed out as a whisper.

The words made Lauren feel a little bit better but she still felt stupid. She finally brought her eyes up to meet Normani's "Did I ruin the night?" She murmured quietly, with shame written across her face.

Before Normani answered the question she wanted to make sure Lauren knew she meant her answer. She leaned and kissed her roughly one good time, earning a small moan. "No, and don't you dare think you did" she said holding on to the Latinas face "this entire day was one of the best I've had with you and trust me we a had a lot. So don't think that"

"I'm sooo sorry" Lauren blinked hard, still feeling guilty for changing the mood. "Can we just ignore that please. It must have been the kiss that made me say that"

"So.. You're not in love with me?" Normani's voice came out as a slight whine and she doesn't even know why.

"No not at all.." Lauren scoffed and turned her attention back to the sky "Look at that one, it's huge" she said pointing to a star, changing the subject. It hurt to lie again but she thought this was what was best.

Normani didn't even turn her attention to look at the sky, her eyes were still piercing the side of Laurens face. She doesn't know why hearing no stung so bad. So what if Lauren wasn't in love with her, shes not in love with Lauren anyway. She realized that she was now in the same shoes that Lauren was in not even five minutes ago. Why did hurt so bad?