Psy Ren: Masterpiece (Gravity Falls)

Chapter 1

 "And through here, we have a statue of the Borgmatic Brothers, Brian and Bjorn..." Grunkle Stan said, a crowd of oohing and aahing tourists staring at the odd statue of the two famously ugly brothers.

Dipper yawned. Another day, another weird tourist to look at the same weird statues and "artifacts". He was on his bed in the attic, Mabel's posters of Sev'ral Timez inhabited the walls, pink and flashy and...blonde. The door zoomed open and Mabel pranced in. She was wearing a purple sweater with a circled "x" on the front.

"Dipper! Guess what?" she asked excitedly.

"What, Mabel?" Dipper asked, rolling his eyes.

"I found "x'!" she laughed. Soos walked through the door.

"Hey guys, let's go to the new pie café. Stan said he would pay for us to eat there," Soos explained, fiddling with his pine-green question-mark t-shirt.

"That's weird," Dipper said, hopping off his bed. "Grunkle Stan wouldn't just pay for us to go somewhere."

"Maybe he's had a change of heart," Mabel smiled, showing off her bright blue braces.

"Hello," said Stan, attempting to wink at the waitress. She ignored him, flipping her long pink hair above her shoulder.

"Are you ready to order?" she asked, her voice like honey in the tender little café with its baby blue walls and cute little counter, a cherry-almond pie on clear display in a glass case. The waitress, Ren, her nametag said, was wearing a blue apron that matched the walls.

"Yes, I'll have a piece of the Chocolate Crunch Pie," Dipper said, setting his menu down on the table, relaxing back in his seat. As Mabel, Stan, and Soos ordered, Dipper looked around at the restaurant. It looked pretty normal. The tables had red-checkered tablecloths covering them. The posters on the wall all advertised different kinds of pie. Maybe there was one place in the town that was normal.

"All righty, then," Ren said, sticking her notepad in her apron. "It'll be right up."

"Um, excuse me, miss, but, uh, can I have your phone number?" Stan asked, tugging at his glasses.

"Why, of course," Ren said. "I'll write it down for you." She scribbled her number down on the notepad, ripped off a sheet, and handed it to Stan, who was red with embarrassment. As soon as she walked away, Stan smiled at Mabel.

"And you said I was bad at the whole flirting thing."

The whole day, Dipper wondered why the waitress, Ren, had been so quick to give Stan her number. Stan had obviously fallen for her. When Dipper had finished (reluctantly) sweeping the gift shop's floor yet again, Stan decided to close up shop, which was odd, because it was barely 5:00 pm. Although Stan walked into his room to make the call, Dipper managed to press his ear against the badly painted door to Stan's room and to hear parts of the conversation he was having over the phone.

"Yep. Yes, that's correct." Pause.

"Right." Pause.

"618 Cave Avenue?" Pause.

"See you there." Dipper heard a clicking sound, and Stan opened the door. Dipper fell flat on his back.

"What are you doing?" Stan asked.

"Nothing," Dipper said, brushing off his vest.

"Well, I'm going out to that nice waitress' house," Stan said, smiling smugly.

"When will you be back?" Dipper asked as Stan left through the front door.

"That's a good question."

The next morning, it was almost 8 am, opening time for the shop, and Stan wasn't out of his room yet. Mabel was fast asleep, still, and Dipper had just woken up. Soos knocked on his door before opening it.

"Have you seen Stan?" Soos asked. He was wearing the same shirt as the day before.

"No," Dipper replied. "Not since last night, when he went to that waitress Ren's house."

Soos' eyes widened. "If you haven't seen him since—"

"Disco girl! Comin' through! That girl is you, ooh ooh ooh," a song played, coming from an alarm clock under Dipper's bed.

"My alarm!' Dipper yelled, trying to turn it off.

"Anyway," Soos said, "if you haven't seen him since last night...he must still be there."