all the whispers of the possible become clear

Chapter 6: 5th Year - Part B

"James, do you have a moment to talk?" Rose approached him hesitantly.

The oldest Potter was about to reply flippantly when he saw the slightly anxious expression on her face. He sighed and put down his quill, patting the space on the couch next to him. "Sure."

"Why did you decide that you're going to be an Auror?" She asked bluntly.

His eyes widened in surprise. "How did you know?"

"I bribed Professor Longbottom into telling me." Rose deadpanned, and James almost believed her. "I heard you talking to Teddy about being an Auror, observed what subjects you're taking, and made an intelligent guess."

James had always known that his younger cousin was smart, but he didn't realise how intuitive she could be. "What are you really asking, Rosie?" He frowned.

Rose contemplated whether to risk offending him. "Please don't get mad at me for saying this..."

"It's never good when someone begins a sentence like that." He commented offhandedly.

"...do you want to become an Auror just because you want to, or does it have to do with Uncle Harry and Teddy being Aurors already?"

Instead of straightforwardly answering her question, James was infuriatingly calm when he returned it by asking, "Why do you want to know if they influenced my decision?"

It seemed like James wasn't going to let her get her answers without her being honest in return. "Because all this while I feel like I've just been trying to meet people's expectations by being just like my mum was at this age, and it's driving me crazy." Rose admitted in frustration. "And we have careers advice coming up soon, and OWLs, and I just... I don't know what to think or do anymore."

James' lips were parted slightly in shock, because he'd never have guessed that Rose had been bottling all of this in for so long. And in he felt slightly guilty on his part – hadn't he at some point or another made some quip about her being like her mum? If anyone knew what it was like to live in the shadow of a ridiculously famous person by being their firstborn, it should be him.

"I want to be an Auror because I think it's a worthy way to spend my life." James told her. "But I don't think I can say with certainty that it has nothing to do with so many people I look up to having done the same job."

"Doesn't that bother you?" Rose asked miserably. "Shouldn't it be something you want, just because you're... you?"

"But who am I, really?" James replied, almost philosophically. "I can't help being the son of my father, or the grandson of my grandfather, or the not-really-blood-related-younger-brother of my... well, you get the picture." His weak joke made Rose smile a little in spite of her troubled state.

"Look, we're all products of our upbringing. Teddy's an Auror like his mother was. Victoire joined the Ministry to work on werewolf rights because of Uncle Bill and Teddy's dad. Emily Wood wants to play professional Quidditch like her dad. Fred wants to export the Wheezes internationally. Little Francesca Longbottom likes Herbology."

"So I'm my mother's daughter, and there's nothing I can do about it?" Rose folded her arms, not too happy with where James was going with this.

James sighed. "Want to know a secret?"

Rose shrugged. "Why not?"

"When I first came to Hogwarts, I was determined not to be seen as Harry Potter's son, so I pulled all the pranks I could get away with. After all, I thought, what could be more different from the saviour of the school several times over than a troublemaker?" James grinned. "But then the older professors started making comments that I was just like my namesake and the Marauders. So it kind of backfired."