Funeral In The Sky

Prologue

Warmth.

Finally, I can feel it here. It took me long enough to realize that all I really need is myself and no one else to make me feel this warmth that I've been longing all my life. I searched for it from all places but I failed. Many people have come and go, yet all I've ever felt is emptiness.

Indeed, I guess it's true when they said that your happiness must never be depended on someone. You have to learn to be happy on your own. Life is cruel that's why you need to be strong. Stop depending on others for strength. Learn to make it alone.

I took another sip of my beer.

I shrug. Drinking alone isn't all that bad either.

I've been to many bars already and hung out with many different people but I never felt happy. I laugh hard with them while having a good time on the dancefloor but before the night can even end, I catch myself staring blankly in space like it’s all just for a show; that the laughter is clearly just a momentary escape from reality.

I always ask myself what the hell's wrong with me.

But I can't possibly answer that, can I? And I never dare to ask anyone because that will be pathetic. But then again, am I not that pathetic enough already?

I'm hopeless. I know that. It's just that I hope someone will at least tell me that there's still a chance.

I crush the ice inside my mouth. It's hard and cold like this stupid world around me. I want to defeat it once and for all so I use all of my remaining strength to crush it even harder. I manage to crush it to pieces. But I guess that's all I can do right now, huh? How pathetic.

Staggering, I stand up. I've always loved high places. Back in my previous town I used to go to a hill whenever I felt depressed. The hill was located at the outskirt of town and I used to love climbing at the summit and stand there next to my favorite tree. It was the best spot since the hill was overlooking the entire town. So whenever I stood there, I felt like I was on top of everything. That all those people and places who kept boring holes in my heart were all below me. Tiny and insignificant.

But there was no such place in this new town. I tried searching for one but I never found anything. This town is filled with high buildings and huge houses, though, I've realized. So I changed my preferences. Instead of going to a hill, I now love spending my depressing hours on rooftops.

I glance at the mug of beer in my hand. It’s calling out my name again so I take another sip. Immediately, it sends warmth within my system like it finally vanquishes the coldness that was threatening to consume me.

I'm on my feet now and I steady myself. The beer has helped clear my vision too which a while ago was blurred by ancient tears.

I inhale the energizing night air. Rooftops are the best especially at night because from up here you can watch the entire town coming to life in the most dazzling yet peaceful way. Like right now I can see the sea of lights from rows of houses and cars below me. I look down at them and angrily, I extend my left middle finger.

Fuck you!

I yell with all my might.

I have so many things to say to this fucking world. Too much pain and tears. Too much misery. All these horrible years I have been dying to let it all out.  But at this moment those two words are all I can manage. Miraculously, though, it’s enough for now. In a way, it has lessened the burden that I’m carrying.

And then I glare down at the sight before me. I imagine that all those tiny houses are my pain, doubts, fears, frustrations, and all other negative things that have been weighing me down. Right now they all look so small and insignificant before me. And that makes me feel good. So much good.

"Once again, I have conquered my demons. So kneel before me you worthless beings! I am strong. I am tougher than any of you," I yell angrily.

And with that, I let out a deep breath. My thoughts are being stupid and incoherent. So much for being drunk tonight. But in a crazy way, I feel a lot better now.

I take one last proud look at the entire town below me. Then I sit back down. I fill my mug with beer and look up at the sky.

And that's when I see it.

A stream of light suddenly flashes across the night sky. There aren't any clouds tonight so the light is so vivid against the dark clear sky.

Shooting star.

I stare at it in awe. It looks so magnificent in the sky. Its brilliant glow is like nothing I’ve ever seen before. I’m gazing at it admiringly when suddenly I remember. It will not last long. So I immediately close my eyes and state my wish. They say that when you wish upon a falling star it will come true. Now I am not being superficial or anything but what the hell. It won't do me any harm anyway if I give it a shot.

So, I state my fervent wish and after doing so I open my eyes and expect the falling star to be gone. But to my amazement it is still there, magically frozen in the sky.

How can it be?

And that's when I feel the strangest thing in the world. Like someone is looking down at me. . . intensely.