Poems of the Damned Girl

Do you...?

Do I ever worry you? Do you even care? 

When you speak now I can't tell if you're lying or telling the truth.

It hurts, you know.  This numb feeling in my chest. 

The only time it goes away is when it's replaced by the feelings of self-hatred.

I've told you twice about how depressed I am.

I've told you once how much I've been wanting to die.

But did you care? 

No

I still think about death.

Did you know that?

Did you know that I think about many different ways to die?

The pills in the cabinet. The pool in the backyard. Hanging myself from the second story. The guns in your closet. 

Did you know I haven't been eating?

I don't eat for hours up to 8 hours at a time.

Do you seem to care? Even pretend to care?

No

Or what is it?

Do you not notice?

Do you not notice your daughter is starving herself? 

Do you not notice how much she hates herself? How much she wishes death upon herself?

Do you not notice how she doesn't move for hours at a time? 

You call it laziness. She calls it depression.

Do you hate her as much as she does?

Do you not realize how much pain you've caused her so many god damn times?

Because if you don't,

You're a god damn awful mother.