Story of My Life

"Written in these walls are the stories that I can't explain

I leave my heart open but it stays right here empty for days..."

"She told me in the morning she don't feel the same about us in her bones

It seems to me that when I die these words will be written on my stone..."

I stood there in the crowded train station, and people poured out of the large archway. My eyes were trained to find her. Her big blue eyes were focused on mine as she walked towards me. Blonde hair cascaded down her back in waves. She was my angel, my everything. I couldn't hold back my grin. My heart leaped into my throat and every second that passed was another second without her near that I could never get back. My long legs moved subconsciously to greet her. Her perfect full lips stayed in a serious line, though I had expected her to smile. 

It seemed like forever had passed without touching her. I hadn't felt her soft, smooth skin beneath mine in months. I missed feeling her pale fingertips trace my back and she moaned my name. I missed hearing her slowly whisper, "I love you," in my ear as she lay beside me. I missed hearing her bell- like laugh. I missed the way her nose crinkled up when she was reading. I missed her sarcastic, sassy attitude when she was pissed off at me. I missed talking to her late at night when no one else was awake. I missed holding her slender frame close. I missed her. I loved her.

As my legs finally stopped in front of her, my arms captured her into an embrace. "My angel," I murmured into her neck. "I missed you so much." She nuzzled her face into my dark hair. Slowly she pulled away, letting go of me. 

"Harry..." she said hesitantly. "I don't feel the same way about us...It just doesn't feel right." She looked up at me, eyes glazed over with tears. "I've had a lot of time to think about us. I just...I can't anymore. It's not you, it's me. I don't...I don't love you. I'm so sorry."

My heart broke at her words. First, a fissure. Then, a crack. Suddenly, I'm broken. I fell to my knees, hitting the floor with a thud. I grasped at my chest, trying to stop the torn feeling inside of me. I was raw. I didn't notice the people staring. I didn't notice Emma's shocked face, or her hands trying to get me to come back to her. Tears gushed down my face like a waterfall. The uncontrollable feeling was unfamiliar and unwanted. It felt like every bone broke in my body. I couldn't feel, I couldn't see , taste, hear or touch. I could only hurt.

She hurt me and she knew from the start that she always would. I tried to stay away from her angelic face and heart wrenchingly innocent smile. But I couldn't. Her subtle peeks and glances at me slowly broke down my resolve and I gave in. I gave into the temptation of being with someone pure, someone gentle, someone innocent. She tempted me with every lingering touch, every gasp she inhaled when I touched her, every warm squeeze of my hand when she was scared. I always knew I'd end up alone. I knew she was too good for me.

All I had left were the memories. But I guess that's just the story of my life...