Part Thirteen: Leprechauns
"I'm alive motherfuckers!!!" Sheila yells to all of them. "Dammit Mom! You're supposed to be dead!" Brendan scolds her.
"Too bad. I'm alive. In fact, I've never felt MORE alive. Now what the hell are you doing back here?!" She turns to Michael.
She's wearing the same robe she wore when attempting to have a three some with Sam and Brendan.
"Well you see, this morning I was eating iHop," Michael starts.
"Get to the point!" They all yell to him.
"And my sister Carol messaged me. She said you TOLD her about Brendan at the grocery store the night before!"
"Hey! I didn't know she was your SISTER!"
"Well she remembers you. I had to find out about my secret son through a FACEBOOK message, Sheila!" He yells.
"You have Facebook? Ew" says Dean.
"Can daddy get custody of me?" Brendan asks Sheila.
"NO! You're living with ME!"
"But you're so annoying!" Brendan whines.
Castiel gasps in excitement.
"Mrs. Sorenson," he starts.
"MS. Sorenson. I'm not married to that trash bag anymore!" She yells. "Say hello to Easter island!" Cas smiles, before snapping his fingers. "What?!" Sheila shrieks, prior to disappearing. Michel and Sam gasp. "Oh, she's gone!" Michael smiles.
"Thank you Jesus!" He smiles to Castiel.
"I'm not Jesus. I'm Castiel" corrects himself.
"Then may the spirit of Christ be in you" Michael smiles, happy tears entering his eyes. "Oh, she's gone! The trash is gone! WOOHOO!" He shouts, laughing happily.
"Dad you're embarrassing me!" Brendan screams.
"So now that Sheila's gone, can you live with your Dad now?" Dean asks.
"I don't see a problem with that," Michael smiles.
"Yayyyyy!!! Can I bring my duck Quackles?!" Brendan smiles.
"Why, sure! You're gonna love Ireland, Brendan!"
"What?!"
"That's where I live."
"WHY?!" Everyone screams. "I like it! It's very neat!" Michael comments.
"I don't wanna live in Ireland!" Brendan cries out. "Uh, you do know that I can just snap you back and forth, right...?" Castiel asks.
"Oh yeah...Uh, can I at least have a tour of your house?" Brendan asks Michael.
"Snap your fingers, Angel of Jesus!" Michael smiles. Castiel sighs, rolling his eyes. "I should be getting paid for this" he mutters, before snapping his fingers. "Bye guys! Be right back!" Brendan smiles, waving.
"Can we come-?!" Dean yells, before Brendan and Michael disappear.
Sam sighs dramatically. "Long distance relationships are so though" he mutters.
"I gotta go find Brandey" Dean announces. "Why?" They all ask him.
"Uhhh...To...Get my money. Because she uh owes me twenty bucks" Dean lies, before sprinting away.
Everyone is looking at Castiel, who only forcefully chuckles.
"Brandey!!" Dean yells, running into smoothie king where she sits alone at a table, slurping on a fruity tootie strawberry refresher. She takes the straw from her mouth. "What, Dean."
"Oh no. How do I handle an angry woman?" He asks himself. "I can HEAR you."
He sighs, walking over to her. She sets her cup down and stands up across from him.
"You know Castiel and I aren't REALLY dating, right? It's just pretend so he can win over Lindsay."
"YES, DEAN; I'M NOT STUPID" she snaps, making him flinch.
"Then why are you jealous?"
"Because I don't want to have to PRETEND like I'm not in love with you!"
Dean slowly gasps for thirty seconds. "You're in love with me?"
"What no shut up I like smoothies" she rambles, before continuing to sip her drink so she doesn't have to speak.
Dean grins. "You love me!" He smiles. She stops sipping her drink. He continues to grin. She takes off the lid to her cup, before pouring the smoothie all over him.
He laughs. "I love you too, Brandey."
"Good because it would be awkward if you didn't."
"Um can I get you anything...?" The employer behind the desk asks Dean.
"'Do I want anything'" Dean mimics him, before scoffing. "I want EVERYTHING."
At the Weaver house, Sam waits for his toaster waffles to pop up.
Once they do, Brendan reappears behind him. "Hi Sammy!"
Sam screams, turning around. "Oh. It's just you. How was Ireland? I missed you."
"I missed you too!" Brendan smiles, the ten minutes he spent without Sam in Ireland feeling like an eternity.
"It was nice. My Dad and I hunted for leprechauns."
"Cool! So, are you gonna stay there?"
"Yeah. But Castiel can snap me back and forth. I'm paying him in peanut butter crackers now. You can visit whenever you want! We can look for leprechauns!"
There's a knock on the door. "Come in!" Sam yells out, thinking it's someone they know.
Several leprechauns burst through the door. "Or the leprechauns can hunt us...!" Brendan yells nervously.
"Get them!!!" One screams. They all yell out noises, charging for them. "AAAHHH!" Sam yells, jumping into Brendan's arms.
They all stop, intrigued by the waffles in the toaster. One of them takes them.
"Hey! Those are mine!" Sam yells.
The leprechauns stare at the waffles, sniffing them. After the boys' think they're going to eat them, they scream, thinking it's a bomb and throwing them at the boys'.
"Owe..." They say glumly, together.
The leprechauns run out of the house, and all the way into town to do some exploring.
"Are you sure you'll be okay in Ireland?" Sam asks him, getting down from his hold.
"I'll be fine. It's not like we'll slowly stop talking and break up over video chat like that one gay couple did!" Brendan motivates.
"I.K.R!"
At the county dump, John slowly blinks his way awake, laying on the dirt textured ground. Lindsay's smiling face is in front of him, making him scream and sit up.
"You're up!" She smiles.
"What are we doing here?!" He demands. "Everyone else stuffed you in trash can. A garbage truck bought you here, so I decided to follow."
John huffs, standing up with his eyes rolled.
"Oh, they're gonna pay!" He demands.
"So you wanna go out or something?" Lindsay asks. He shushes her.
He sees the same group of leprechauns walking by, all chatting with each other while eating waffles.
"Hey! You guys!" John yells. They stop walking and look at him. "You wanna do me a favor?" He asks.
One leprechaun slowly walks over to Lindsay, grabbing her wrist and kissing the back of her hand. "You are wondrous" he smiles to her,
She giggles. "Teehee, why thank you!"
John grumbles. "We don't have TIME for this! You gotta DESTROY my idiotic sons and their friends."
The leprechauns start attacking him, except for the one that is intrigued by Lindsay. "Wanna go back to my house?" She smiles.
"You betcha!"
Castiel walks into Lindsay's house, seeing Sam and Brendan waiting for the cake that they 'baked' to finish in the oven.
Fire sets to the oven.
"AAAHHH!!" Sam screams. "DAMMIT!!!" Brendan adds. Castiel cringes, stopping the fire with a snap of his fingers. Not noticing him, Brendan gasps. "Magic!" He yells.
They see Cas, and Sam says "Oh. It's just you."
Dean and Brandey enter the house. "Now get away from me woman I do not love." He pushes her away. "Hi...Lover!" He greets Castiel, walking over to him.
"Hey...!"
Lindsay walks in next. "I'm pretty sure your Dad's getting attacked by leprechauns" she tells Sam and Dean. "So you're broken up now?" Sam asks, raising his eyebrows.
"Yeah. I have a new boyfriend now."
"WHAT?!" Castiel screams. They stare at him. "I mean...Good for you...!" He forces a smile.
"Guys, meet Stan."
The leprechaun walks into the house.
"Hiya!"
"Lindsay what the fuck" is all Brandey asks blandly.
"Hey! Don't judge me!" She demands.
"Uh, Lindsay, you know...Sam and Dean hunt leprechauns...Right guys?" Castiel looks at Dean with hopeful eyes.
"GAHHHH!!!" John shouts, running into the house with an axe. His clothes are teared, many scratches and cuts covering his face. He cuts the leprechauns head off.
"Aw, you want me back so much that you decided to kill my current boyfriend! That's so sweet!" Lindsay smiles, folding her hands together. "No; I killed him because they're a bunch of annoying fucks" John snaps.
"They tried to kill me and Brendan" Sam points out. "On the other hand, maybe they're not so bad..." John suggests, rubbing his chin.
"Hey!" Sam and Brendan yell together.
"Well...Dean and I are just gonna go...Do the usual things that couples do...Okay Lindsay?" Castiel asks her. "Whatever." She begins to text on her phone. "Ooh! My polish ex boyfriend wants me back! Should I say yes?" She asks. Castiel sends her phone to Easter island.
Sheila, who's standing there helpless, notices the phone that appears next to her. "Ooh! A phone!" A monster truck runs over it, crushing it into a million tiny pieces. "WHYYYY..."
"Hey! What the fuck?!" Lindsay demands, scowling at Castiel back in America.
"Oops...Oh well uh I'll be at my house...!" He disappears.
"Isn't he dreamy?" Dean blurts out.
Lindsay cringes. "Sure..."
"Brendan, are you ready for Ireland?" Michael smiles, walking into the home with several suitcases. "You betcha, Dad!" He smiles.
"Castiel, can you, uh, send me and my Dad to Ireland?"
"You're gonna give me a peanut butter cracker, right?" He asks him.
"Roger that!"
"You're supposed to say yes!"
"Wait! I just remembered that the leprechauns there scare me!" Brendan cries out. "What? Oh, oh no!" Castiel cries sarcastically, before snapping them there on purpose.
Brendan and Michael stand in the middle of the woods, a group of angry leprechauns standing ten feet away from them.
"Uh...Greetings...!" Says Michael.
The leprechauns begin to chase them.
"AAAHHHH!" The humans scream, sprinting away. One of the leprechauns jump on Michael's back, biting his neck. "YOWZA!" He yells in pain. "So THAT'S where I get it from! Daddy!!!" Brendan screams in fear.
"Cas! Snap us back!" He yells into the walkie talkie.
There's static on the other line. "What? I'm in the bathtub." A rubber duckey squeaks.
"Leprechauns are chasing us!!!"
They're sent to Castiel's house, along with the leprechauns. "What the hell, Cas?!" Brendan screams.
"What's all the ruckus?!" Cas demands, walking into the room wearing a bathrobe.
"Oh shit!"
One leprechaun ties Michael to a conveyer belt, a giant axe swinging down on the very end. Michael slowly starts moving towards it.
The leprechauns laugh evilly.
"Oh no!" Brendan cries.
Before Michael is killed by the axe, Castiel snaps his fingers. The conveyer belt stops moving, and the leprechauns disappear back to Ireland.
"Whew!" Michael smiles, before the axe falls on top of his face.
"My casserole!" Cas yells, realizing that it's still in the oven.
Back at the Weaver house, Brendan tells the gang "So I think it's safe to say we're not moving to Ireland."
Michael, who's face is wrapped in a bandage, speaks incoherent, muffled words.
"I'm glad you guys are okay" Sam says, rubbing Brendan's shoulder. He smiles, before yelling
"I'm so glad you weren't there, Quackles!" to Quackles who's standing in the corner of the room, leashed to the wall with a dog bowl of lucky charms in front of him.
"QUACK QUACK."
"YOU'RE SO MEAN!!!"
Castiel appears, holding several suitcases and still in a bathrobe.
"Hi guys!" He smiles. "My house burnt down due to my casserole. Can I stay here?"
"Why, sure, honey!" Susan smiles.
"Can't you just rebuild your house with your powers?" Dean whines. "Dean, Cas is your boyfriend. Wouldn't you like him staying with you?" Sam questions, squinting suspiciously.
"Ummm..."
"Castiel can sleep in Lindsay's room!" Brandey suggests, trying to forward the plan.
"He's gay, so, fine by me" Gerald says.
"I'm NOT gay! I'm pansexual and I LOVE LINDSAY!" Castiel screams.
It's silent.
"Honestly my-my heart is broken..." Dean attempts to sound believable.
"So you fuck pans?" Susan asks.
Everyone else face palms.
"What'd I say?"
