It's Too Late Now (Jemi Oneshot)

I didn't know. I was so stupid at the time.

"I think it's best if we don't see each other," she said, her eyes shining with sadness. There was no giggle in her voice nor was there a hint of giddiness.

"What are you saying, Demi?" I asked her, trying to find the punch line of this sick joke. I couldn't read her too well today.

I had met her three years ago. We were foolish children. I fell in love with her instantly while she had guys praising her.

"I'm saying that we should," she paused for a moment, her eyes looking at the ground. "Break up."

I was silent. Break up? Was she crazy? I loved her, she loved me. She did love me, right? Thinking of this memory, I wanted to go back in time and scream at myself for being an idiot. "Why?" I had asked her, trying to make sense of it.

She still couldn't face me. "The feelings...are gone."

What I loved about her was everything. She was my sunshine. She was my world. She was my Demi.

"You're saying you don't love me?" I questioned in shock. "I don't believe you. Say it to my face, Demi. Look at me and say it to my face if you mean it."

"I don't love you, Joseph." she said softly, looking me dead in the eye. "I'm sorry."

My shock turned into anger. "No, don't be sorry! I'm sorry for wasting all my time on you! I'm sorry for loving you and thinking we could last."

"Joe, please-" I heard her voice crack.

I didn't care that day. I was just too angry at her. "Good bye, Demi." Those were the last things I said to her.

Oh, how I wish I hadn't said those things. I wish I never yelled at my Demi. Three months later, I found a letter at my door. It was from Demi's address. What had she wanted from me?

I walked into my house, sat on my couch, and read the letter.

'Dearest Joe,

I am so sorry. You probably hate me. I don't blame you. I left you because I told you I didn't love you. It's not true, Joe. I love you so much. I love you more than the world. I hope you know that. So why did I tell you the opposite? I needed for the pain to hurt less. You've received this letter because I'm gone. Not gone as in I moved, but gone as in with God. That's right Joseph, I've passed away. You thought you knew everything about me, but you don't. Shortly after we met, I was diagnosed with cancer. I didn't want to tell you because I thought you wouldn't like me anymore. I was wrong, Joe. The days I spent with you were amazing. I fell in love with you so fast. Every moment I spent with you was cherished. Remember that, baby. Two weeks before I broke up with you, they said I only had a few months to live. They said it would be painful and towards the end, I'd have to be in the hospital. I didn't want to put this burden on you. So I thought if we broke up, it would hurt less to know you'd be able to move on. It didn't. I hurt so much. I thought of you every single moment I could. I thought about your silly jokes, your flawless smile and your big heart. I told my sister to give this to you when I passed. I love you, Joe. Please stay strong for me because I'll be watching you from above. I hope you're not mad at me.

Always yours,

Demi'

Now here I was at Demi's funeral. I couldn't help a few tears. The time she was dying was the time I was mad because she left me. There I stood at her coffin; she was still beautiful as ever. Her hair was surrounding her face in the most natural way and her eyes were shut. "Demi baby," I whispered. "I could have been there for you. I could have helped you fight this every step of the way. I'm not mad at you, baby. I never was; I was only mad at myself. I'll love you forever, Demi. You're my guardian angel." I closed my eyes as every moment I spent with her flashed. "I love you." I whispered one more time.