complementary colors

1

tuesday, october 8th, 1996

that morning it rained harder than ever. oregon still looked beautiful. citizens gathered on the sideways with colored umbrellas and rain boots. i blended in with the crowd as i ran under everyone else's umbrella because i had forgotten my own. usually i would be fine walking through the rain but today i had my walkman and i couldn't risk getting it wet. the group of people next to me were all going to the same hellhole as i was. they say that the further you get in high school the easier it gets but that's such a fucking lie. three years in and nothing changed. i barely had any friends and the ones i made i constantly lost. every year i struggled with the same subjects. the recurring thought of it almost being over saved me.

i walked into chemistry and saw someone sitting in my desk. he was obviously new because ever was staring at him. he didn't notice though, he was too busy writing down something.

i sat down in the desk next to his, "you're in my spot."

he looked up at me and covered the words in his notebook, "oh, i'm sorry do you need me to move?"

"nah newbie, i'm just messing with you." i laughed at the awkwardness of the whole situation. he looked at me like he was expecting me to talk more. "well, my names toulouse."

"my names namjoon. it's a pleasure to meet you."

the teacher walked into the class which signaled all of us to stop talking. ten minutes into the session we had to partner up for the lab and for once i wasn't paired up with the weirdest kid in class. when our teacher announced that we could have partners namjoon graciously volunteered to be mine. all of the girls in our class were so shocked that the 'handsome new boy' chose to be partners with the 'weird goth girl'. it was a new and exciting feeling to be their object of envy.

we walked together to the back lab table and he started pulling beakers and graduated cylinders from under the sink.

"i'm just gonna forewarn you that i'm shit at science." i said nervous about his reaction.

he smiled and continued to get all the supplies we needed, "it's okay, you can't be good at everything"

i tried to get some of our supplies so he didn't have to do it all by himself but he kept insisting. watching him do all the work made me upset but i knew i shouldn't risk either of our grades by pitching in. i constantly asked questions to try to understand but it just wasn't the same as helping.

"so, where are you from?" i asked, watching him pour chemicals.

"new york. i miss it." he said only slightly looking up from what he was doing.

he was so focused on the chemicals that our conversation ended shortly. as we sat in silence i watched his hands closely. they were so beautiful, especially how careful he was. it was like he really had to focus on his motions and it was amazing. his brown hair fell into his face and covered his eyebrows and goggles. we were sitting on different sides of the table so i had the best opportunity to look at him. the only interaction we had during the rest of the period was small amounts of eye contact and him asking if i was actually writing everything down.

as the bell rang namjoon dropped one of the glasses. lucky for us it was empty. the asshole of a teacher made both of us stay after just to yell at us. when he finally let us leave namjoon looked shook.

"you good?" i asked nudging his arm.

"um, yeah i just didn't expect her to yell like that." he said staring at the ground

"yeah she's a bitch but there's nothing you can do." i shrugged "see you at lunch new kid"

the whole time in debate i thought about him. he was so different from anyone else in this school but he was so unlike me. second period always seems longer than first. no one ever talks, not even the teacher. i looked around the room to see if anyone was actually doing anything and half the class was asleep. i wrote down everything that was running through my mind down on my notebook. it made everything easier.

no one even noticed the bell ringing, the teacher had to basically kick everyone out of his. i had to run across the school to get to french on time. it wouldn't have mattered if i was late though because i was my french teacher's favorite. when i got to the class namjoon was standing there, in the front of my best class.

"ah, namjoon, why don't you follow toulouse to her seat? she can catch you up on everything."

he chuckled, which showed off his perfectly placed dimples. my heart was racing a hundred miles a minute. i motioned for him to follow me and walked to the back of the class and pointed to the seat next to mine.

"so, where did we leave off?" he said in a snarky tone. i couldn't tell if it was sarcasm or not.

"well," i said opening my notebook "in french we left off learning all the cities and with us we left off after our ass of a teacher yelled at the two of us"

he laughed and opened his notebook. it had words written all in it and small doodles next to all the crossed out lines. i tried to discreetly read what it said but it was too far.

today in class we learned about toulouse. the city i was named after. my parents met there while they were both on their senior trips.

"toulouse, would you like to tell us anything about this city" madame always asked me about it.

"sure." i walked to the front of the class to ensure everyone was listening, "i've been to toulouse about four or five times, i can't really remember, but its beautiful. my parents visit on their anniversary every year and always bring back the coolest gifts. it's a neat place honestly." i awkwardly laughed which made the class laugh. it made me feel better. i hated silence. it fucks everything up.

all the way in the back i saw namjoon smiling at me and then his notebook. something was up.