9/10…. 10:35 pm
It was cold. Refreshing in a matter of fact. I could taste the mint in the air. There I was, standing in the parking lot. Walking to the ticket stand to get my ticket to a different life. As I say my last goodbyes to my family I can feel the knot in my stomach growing bigger and bigger. Knowing that I wouldn’t see them for the next 7 years. Looking at my watch that my grandpa gave me, and noticing that I only have 30 minutes to get on the plane.
Turning around to feel my throat choke up and tears start in my eyes. As I hug my mom, my mind starts to re-thing everything I’m doing about joining the military. Getting back to reality by hearing the loud static of what is suppose to be the boarding call for my plane to a different life. I let go and finally turn around, walking like a zombie.
Giving the man my ticket and heading out the door. Seeing the big white metal bird that is taking me to a different chapter of my life. Getting to my seat and looking out the window, to see my family waving on the side of the airport to see me take off. Feeling the first tear run down my cheek and having drop on the jacket my grandma gave to me before she passed away. Hearing a loud roar of the engine and feeling the plane jerk forward as I close my eyes. I wanted to go to sleep so bad, and just forget about everything. I wanted to convince myself that everything was going to be okay, and I was going to see my family one more time.
As I finally fall asleep, I dream about my family and my 7 year-old sister being 14 the next time I see her. My mom would be 7 years wiser than before. Telling me that she loves me, being in her arms and having my darkness turn into light. I wanted to be there for everyone, but this was my life and this is what had to be done.
Finally, being woken up by screams and yelling. As I look out the window, I notice how low we were flying and the place we were at. Knowing that this wasn’t the right destination. We pass the Statue of Liberty and there I was, entering the concrete jungle we call “New York”. As I see two building come closer and closer, my life flashes before my eyes. Seeing my little sister grow up without an older sister. Being a child and having to grow up to deal with boys and homework, without the advice and wisdom of her older sister. Having my mom to have to tell her and my family that I wont be returning ever again. There I was seeing my doorway to death before my eyes. As I take a deep breath, I feel the hard impact crashing into the buildings. Knowing that I only have seconds to live. Closing my eyes and saying “I love you.” Sending it to all the people who made a difference in my life. Goodbye World and Goodbye Life.
9/11…. 6:35am
There I was screaming, having the worst dream in my life. Having the rush of telling my super-hero, my guard at night, my chef, me striving for excellence, my first lover, my rock that I know will always be there for me, my dad.
Throwing off the heavy blanket as if it weighs a ton. Stepping on that icy cold tile and having a shock run through your foot, up your spine, and out through your neck, leaving you with a mini heart attack and a shortness of breath. Running out of the room and into the hallway as if you’re a racecar on the final lap in first place. Slamming the door open and looking for that one person who means everything to you. Leaving you with the most heart breaking note: “Off to work, see you tonight for dinner. Love you and have a good day.” Having everything in you break apart into little pieces. The only thing you could think of was that your daddy wasn’t going to come back home from work. Rushing through you mind to think of some other way to call him before it was too late.
Getting more and more frustrated on having a 41 year-old dad not have a cell phone, because he thinks its distracting and hard to focus on in work. Taking the whole thing to the back seat and not worrying about it since it was only a dream. Taking a nice cool shower to freshen up the mind. Getting done from being relaxed to receiving an e-mail from the one person you need to be alive: “Can’t make it tonight for dinner honey or your flight. Just know that I love you and do your best! E-mail me when you land to your destination. Love always, Dad.” Having only a necklace to remember him and the memories that will never fade.
Entering the room where the most memories are made and turning on the T.V. to BREAKING NEWS on CNN. Having the weather to be bad and having no flight be out except one from Boston to L.A. Having a rush of excitement about not being on a plane and to be able to see the best dad in the world.
Starting up some lunch to be dropped off as good news. Driving to his work and seeing the big white metal bird take him away before my eyes. Seeing the flashbacks of little kid memories about having the coolest dad ever.
Broken up from dreaming by a loud siren and screaming. Having my life fall apart in front of my eyes. Not knowing what to do and going back home into his bedroom and go through the worst depression know to human kind. Getting a phone call to identify my super hero at the building of the after life. Having to look at a man that I thought would be my daddy, into being a stranger of New York. The worst part was, it wasn’t my dad is some guy who worked in the same office as him. For that there was still hope. Still hope that everything was going to be fine.
