Playing with fire

Losing yourself

Rivers POV
This was the day. The day my life was bound to encounter. She was completely inevitable. Damn she pissed me off. But there was something about the way she looked at little John, almost as if she had become a child again. Her big brown eyes opened wide with excitement over a simple magic trick he showed her, or how he would try and attempt a one handed cartwheel. She is so patient with him, I can tell she's genuine. If only she wasn't so fucking irritating. Every bone in her body from head to toe is fiery. Not only is she hot headed but she won't take shit from anybody, especially an asshole like me.
-
It's 3 am. Another sleepless night for me. I'm surprised I haven't collapsed yet. I just want everything to go back to how it was a month ago. Where my whole fucking mind wasn't in such a dark place. I hated myself for what had happened, and everyone knows a damn therapist doesn't do shit. I could get out of bed and go for a drive but I don't want to worry my mom. She's been through enough, hell she's feeling worse than I am. But like the selfish fuck I am I grab my keys and sit in the front seat of my car. I don't start it at first I just sit. I sit hoping that it will give me some sanity, that's all I needed at that point. I soon turned my key and drove to the place I never thought would have existed a month ago.
-
I park the car and hit the steering wheel as if it will do something. I keep thinking that it has to be some type of sick joke. I need her to be alive. I don't want to live anymore if she's gone. What does one do when they feel so fucking vulnerable. I have to stay alive for my family, life will be shit but at least they will have the chance to be happy. I know they will overcome this.
-
I walked up to the grave stone and lost it. I cried until my throat got so dry that my whole body went numb. I laid still by my sister for what felt like hours. I checked my phone and saw it was 5am. I did the only thing I could think of to get my mind off of her.
-
She answered on the second ring.
"Hello?" She said groggily.
"Hey Jade You free?" I asked
"For you, always." She answered trying to sound sexy.
"Be there in 5." I said as I started my car and drove to a place that has felt all so familiar this month.
When I walked up to the door she opened it barely wearing anything but a tiny silk robe and a lace bra.
I tangled my hands through her artificial bleach blonde hair and kissed down her neck leaving a mark that would show the next day. We moved away from the front door and towards her room stumbling. She helped me forget, I basically just used her. She doesn't fucking mind though and I guess neither do I.
-
Daisy's POV
"Where do you think you're going?" Elise's husband asked me as I started towards the door.
"Why do you care you still get a check in the mail every month no matter where I am." I shot back at him.
"Watch your mouth. You're lucky we are letting you stay with us." He said staring me down and trying to intimidate me.
"Keep telling yourself that." I said as I slammed the door shut.
Living with Elise and her husband was well, manageable. They're better than my last foster parents. Although it's pretty easy to beat religious freaks who thought every word that came out of my mouth was a sin. I got out of that house by pretending to have a seance. I guess you could say my social worker got fed up with me very easily. So for the past two weeks I had been staying with Elise and her creep of a husband. School started soon so I would be able to spend as little time in the house as possible.
As of right now I was trying to keep myself busy with work.
-
I knocked on the door that was opened by Johnny who grabbed my legs tight.
"What do I look like? A human jungle gym!" I joked with him making his little dimples show. I picked him up and kissed his cheek. Oh lord this boy will be the death of me, cute is an understatement.

"River!" Johnny shouted snapping me out of my thoughts. He jumps out of my arms and towards his older brother.
"Hey bud." River says to him rubbing his head.
"Can I show you what I made with my Legos?" He asks him with puppy dog eyes.
"Of course go grab it." River says with a tired voice. I laugh as Johnny runs out of the room to grab his creation.
"You can leave now I can watch him." River tells me with a straight face.
"Actually I can't your mom wants me to stay." I tell him with a look.
"I don't care what she said, we don't need you here."
"Well I respectfully disagree so you can either keep arguing with me or try to get some sleep because I can tell you're exhausted." I say as John runs back with a huge Lego tower.
"I'm even better than bob the builder!" Johnny yells making River and I crack up. Soon River leaves for his room, most likely to sleep as John and I watch some tv, well try to watch. John keeps tackling me thinking it's the funniest thing on the planet, gotta admit though, it was pretty hilarious.

RIVERS POV
She fucking aggravates me. I don't know why my mom had to hire her. It makes me feel she thinks I'm just a lazy piece of shit. I guess as long as she treats Johnny right i can't complain.
I take my shirt and jeans off so I can finally try and get some sleep. School starts in a week and I know I can't hide from all my friends anymore. I'm gonna have to face everyone's faces of
pity. I fucking hate this all so much.
I feel trapped.
-
I wake up and look at the time. 5pm it reads. I hear the faint noises of my moms friends sitting in the kitchen trying to keep her company. I walk out to the kitchen to see my best friend Jeremy. I give him a silent nod and go to the fridge to find a snack. He's been here almost every day. I haven't talked much to him, talking makes it all feel too real.
The fridge is filled with basically anything you could ever want. For some reason people are like "sorry for your loss! Here's some food." I fucking hated it but damn this was some good lasagna.
"Thank you honey I'll see you Tuesday!" I heard my mom call out to Daisy. Shit I didn't know she was still here. Wait double shit I forgot to put pants on.