Let Me Be (Cabenson)

One

My inner thighs ached and I gripped a pen between my fingers, "Alex Cabot, my office now!"
As a lieutenant I got my own office, of course. Not saying I don't miss being crammed in a tiny desk surrounded by my squad, but, I love having empty space.
My door creaked open and Alex's foot peaked through, "Are you ready for me Olivia?"
I scoffed and pushed my papers aside, "Yes Alex. Maybe that's why I called you in here!"
The blonde threw herself on the cushioned seat and propped her feet on my desk. The moment I glared at her she proceeded to take her feet down and question why she was in here, "Liv, look- I know- I'm sorry."
Alex immediately got a gleam of sorrow in her eyes and I knew she was sincere this time, "Alex, you left. Today is your second day back you expect me just to treat it like nothing. I missed you.."
Trying to leave the brief few seconds of silence I looked at a framed picture of me and Alex at the Christmas party.

I took Alex's hand in mine and for once we were happy. We didn't have to hide who we were and everyone accepted us. Together.

Alex waved her hand in my face, "Liv did you hear me? I said we could start over again. And don't you dare say there wasn't anything. There was something."
I swallowed a lump in my throat as Fin waltzed through the door, "Sorry Liv, am I interrupting something?"
I averted my eyes to my shoes, "No, Alex was just leaving.."
Alex's body dropped about an inch and she lost her prideful walk. Slamming the door behind her she left me and Fin in my office. "Liv you can't just let her leave again.."
I pushed myself up from my chair and slammed my hands on my desk, "Her? She left without a warning! Dammit Fin I thought she died! I can't tell you how much I wish that she was by me right now but it can't be that way anymore!"
My body dropped like Alex's did a few moments ago and I processed what I had just said. I didn't want it to me true but it most likely was. Shaking my head I guided myself to my office door and out. To my surprise someone was there waiting for me, Casey. Casey was a different story. She was my pleasure pal, meaning what you would expect, "Casey what are you doing here? Well, I know what you're doing here but why now?"
She tugged on my hand leading me to to the restroom, "I'm leaving tomorrow morning on a business trip. Today would be our last day together and you don't get off of work until I'm at the hotel.."
We got to an empty hall with the bathroom at the end and on the right. Alex's hand rammed up my shirt and grabbed my back, "I'm sorry I'm leaving so early."
My hands grabbed her legs and she wrapped herself around me, "Don't ruin the moment."
Her hands went behind my head and our list filled lips crashed in to one another. It wasn't long before we broke through the bathroom door and I heard a gasp. Alex.
I turned around and sure enough, there she was. Casey slipped out of my arms and stood behind me like a frightened puppy. I took a step towards Alex and she flinched, "Don't talk. Just listen. I just want us to be close again. As lovers. As friends. You decide. Talk to me when you're ready..."
I heard the door creak and within seconds Casey was nowhere to be found. Me and Casey were now alone in the restroom awkwardly waiting for one of us to speak. Alex got antsy and moved towards me, "Liv, you can't be mad."
My eyes glared at Alex, "And why the hell not? You gave me no warning about what happened to you."
I was now breathing heavily not able to get full words out, "You.."
Alex was now fully aware of what was happening and walked over towards me placing a hand on my shoulder, "Liv you need to calm down. You get yourself so worked up you get panic attacks."
I shoved her hand off of me and scoffed once more, "I don't get panic attacks! You don't even know me.."
Alex bit her inner cheek and shook her head slightly, "That's right Liv, I don't know you. Three, two, one..."
After Alex counted down I was in tears. Shit, she did know me.
I leaned against the bathroom wall and slid all the way to the cold tile. Alex soon joined me, "Do you forgive me Liv?"
My breathing slowed down and I put my hand on Alex's thankful I could hold her again. Or atleast part of her, "Of course I do. Just don't hurt me again, okay? Please."
Alex took her hand from mine and my heart sank again but lifted once Alex replaced her hand behind my back and around my waist, "I won't leave.."
I immediately shot up from the cold tile floor when I realized what was going on, "I have to go."