Dear Dreams...
How do you really start a letter to your dreams? Huh... Never thought of this before, although it might be the best way to make you really come true. Where to start... I guess I started dreaming when I was younger, y'know, always a daydreamer, too lazy to care :P When I was seven, I wanted a horse. Nothing too big, just wanted to be like Barbie. (:S shut up.) Then I wanted money... I've always WANTED stuff. Then I realized... Dreams aren't trivial things that you WANT. Dreams are... the deepest things you desperately want, would trade your soul to the devil for.
And I began dreaming tall orders.
I dreamt for him. I prayed everyday that he would look at me and say, "oh wow. She's really cute." But that hasn't/didn't happen yet. No worries. I'm sort of over that now. I guess stupid dreams don't come true. I never really pursued that dream anyway, never changed my style or anything so it would come true. Maybe my subconscious knew I would find somebody better.
Later, I dreamt of going away for high school, far away, where I wouldn't be surrounded by the people who I'd know for the past like ten years. Sometimes a good thing, but I was/still am a really embarrassing person. I'd done a ton of stupid stuff. I wanted to go halfway across the country, ignore it all, and reinvent myself.
Which I did sort of do, by the way. Reinvent myself, I mean. Following the start of high school, I sort of had... two? personalites. Not split, nothing schizo or mental about it. Just... One personality was my home one, the not so quiet, not so obedient girl, who wouldn't dare talk to her neighbor because of one order. At school, I became a somewhat LOUDER version of that. I did things I wouldn't do at home, nothing illegal, just things like walking to 7-11 with the rest of the group to get slurpees before the big game, walking to a park after ice skating. Simple things that weren't what I'd normally do.
I didn't care.
I didn't care if I got in trouble, or if someone yelled at me. I was tired of having everyone scold me for doing something, then saying I should be myself. I cursed, in my head more often than not, I disobeyed, and I was happy.
So here's where my new dream starts and the letter ends.
I dream of going to New York University, far away enough that I won't be held in this choking leash my mom has me on, but close enough that I won't be lonely. I dream of becoming an author, writing stories, and publishing them for all to see. Who cares if I live in a box?
Let me tell you a little secret:
I. Don't. Care.
So Dreams, if you can read this, make this happen... Or I will. I'm not letting this go. This isn't a pony, a person, or a new me. This IS me. And I need it to happen.
Love,
xxMyLifeisAverageStillxx
YOU ARE READING
30 Day Letter Challenge
Não Ficção30 days. 30 letters. All to people who probably won't read them. But each one touches the heart of those who do.
