In the North

Part I

REPOSTED FROM MY AO3 & FANFICTION

Author's Note: Honestly, this is utter crack but unlike most of the few JB canon(ish) crack I came across, this actually isn't a Cersei hating fic. This probably leans more toward the show.

The sound of warning bells tolled in the distance. Jaime forgot his current anger and looked to Brienne in alarm. Their eyes met with understanding. They were both knights, and they needed to help.

Jaime turned back to his sister and the loathing crept up his chest again. He barked for Bronn and Pod to tie her up and for good measure, he ordered her gagged, so she wouldn't be able to entice the sellsword.

...

When Jaime found out that Tyrion was the Queen's Hand, he couldn't help but convince his little brother that he'll get King's Landing to yield, for as long as the dragons are kept in control.

Tyrion asked why he'd miss a chance for battle.

Jaime only mentioned about just recently saving King's Landing from burning a second time, he wouldn't allow the third attempt to finally succeed

...

Daenerys Targaryen got the throne. It was easier than she thought.

...

Tommen was innocent from the war crimes of the past. He was sent back to Casterly Rock under heavy guard from the Queen's army. However, Jaime and Cersei were unfortunate. Jaime had crimes against killing the Mad King. Cersei had been the Usurper's wife and a Lannister and Baratheon in name. Daenerys would have had Jaime dead and Cersei rot in the dungeons after the trial, if it wasn't for one of Jaime's only witness, the Maid of Tarth, with her interesting account of Ser Jaime's tale and person, and a raven.

...

"The North is in need of fighters," read the message. "Anyone able will do- men or women. Winter is coming, as the words of our House. And it is. Creatures only known in old tales have come. We beg of you. It is not a matter of politics, but a matter of survival for this whole realm."

It signed Lady Sansa of Winterfell.

...

The dragon queen spared Jaime Lannister to fight in the North. Though cripple, he could still command forces. The former queen reagent, although friendless and didn't have anyone backing her, barely played a role in Targaryen slaughter, so she also had the same fate. In fact, every criminal in the dungeons was sent to the Wall along with enough men from the Dothraki force to keep them in line.

Daenerys sent this mismatched army, along with a few men she could trust, so she could have eyes to tell her that the threat is indeed real.

...

And that's how Jaime, Brienne and Cersei found themselves traveling North.

.....-ooO0Ooo-.....

Cersei didn't know how many skins of the foul drink she had. It was their last day of stay in the town before they reach the Wall, and the Northern army recruits decided to indulge a bit. She's probably slept with half the men in the camp, but she doesn't care. She might have glimpsed Jaime staring at her as she locked lips with one but she couldn't read his expression through the haze of whatever she just drunk.

Dizzy. Have to get away.

The noise of the festivities was beginning to give her a headache. Cersei wobbled her way to the outskirts of the camp to make her headache subside a bit. The lights were getting dimmer and making it harder for her to see.