Neighbors With Benefits (COMPLETED)

Seven

(First and maybe the last POV of Josh.)

--

Josh's POV

I excused myself to go to the comfort room. I don't wanna leave Aliyah there but I badly need to pee. Pabalik na sana ako sa table namin nila Aliyah galing CR nang makasalubong ko siya.

"Wait Josh... c-can we talk? Saglit lang promise." she plead. I have no choice but to nod.

I guess we need this.

Pumunta kami sa parking lot, sa may labas lang ng venue nitong party since hindi na rinig dito ang ingay mula sa loob. Baka hinahanap na ako ni Aliyah doon. I need to make this quick.

"What now? My girl is waiting for me." I saw pain crossed her eyes. And I don't give a fuck.

"Josh.. do you love her?"

None of your fucking business.

"Josh, Answer me!" she yelled.

"What if yes? Why do you care?!" medyo malakas na sabi ko. I dont want to sound rude here, its just that-- argh! I'll tell you the story.

"I don't believe you! Not so fast Josh.. not so fast." there are tears in her eyes. If those tears fell five months ago, I would've wipe it, but nah. We're done so wipe your own tears. Not my fault.

Di ako sumagot. Tumingin lang ako sa kung saan. Nakakairita, hindi na ako kumportableng malapit sya sakin. The pain is still there, but it's bearable. But the feeling is gone.

Dati, gustong gusto kong kasama sya. Minu-minuto, oras-oras, araw-araw. Di ako nagsasawa. Ganun talaga ata pag-inlove ka. Wala kang ibang nakikita kundi sya lang. Makita mo lang yung taong mahal mo, buo na ang araw mo. Yung kahit pangit ang gising mo, makita mo lang sya, magbabago na ang mood mo. That time, we are so truly, madly, crazy inlove with each other. Pero akala ko lang yun, ako lang pala yun. May mga tao talagang di makuntento sa isa 'no? Minsan naiisip ko nun, ba't nag-eexist pa yung ganung klase ng tao? At kailangan pa talagang mahalin ko ha?! Gayish man pero, yun ang nararamdaman ko eh.

"Josh... I'm still the one right? Tell me Josh! Tell me..." she hugged me. How can she be so sure? I'm not stupid.

I was surprised, but not because she hugged me, but because there's no spark anymore. Back then, I always wanted her to hug me because it feels so good. Sounds gay but that's just it. And this... should I be happy now? I think Im fully moved-on. Kelangan lang siguro namin ng closure. But sometimes, not having closure is the closure, they say.

Inalis ko ang pagkakayakap nya sakin. Tiningnan nya naman ako na parang nagtatanong kung bakit.

"I already have a girlfriend." sabi ko nalang para matapos na ang usapan namin. Siguro, next time nalang dapat kami mag-usap about us. Kelangan ko pang balikan si Aliyah. Kanina pa ko wala, inaantay na ako nun. Tinalikuran ko sya at naglakad na palayo. Pero nakakailang hakbang palang ako ay nagsalita nanaman sya.

"I'll get you back! I still love you Josh. At alam kong ako padin. You're just using her to make me jealous." natigilan ako at napalingon sa kanya. How could she say that?

"You got it wrong, Alison. We can be friends, I can't offer you more than that." sabi ko nalang at dire-diretsong pumasok sa party.

Yes, she's my ex-girlfriend, Alison Lee. We've been together for one year and we broke up five months ago. At bakit kami nagbreak? It's all her fault. Ewan ko kung anong kulang sakin at naisipan nyang ipagpalit ako. Ginawa ko naman lahat, mahal na mahal ko naman sya noon. Binigay ko lahat ng gusto nya, pero wala. Di ko matanggap na pinagpalit nya ako sa ibang lalaki... hindi dahil mahal ko pa sya. Man's ego kumbaga.