In life you meet people, some stay and some go. But the ones we love the most are the ones who leave and you have no control over the situation. I can't sleep I can barely eat and when I do I feel so sick. Everything I do reminds me of him and the worse part is the more I try to not think about him the more I do. I have times where I feel like I could just slip away into the darkness and not a single person would blink and try to stop me, try to grab me to keep me here. Nobody would fight for me, that would be so much effort for someone to do. To actually be wanted here by someone I love would never happen. If I left no one would have a devastating life to live. If he left I would be the broken one more then I already am. I wouldn't be able to handle it, but he would. I don't know how to breath half the time, I get this constant pain in my chest and it only gets worse, there is nothing I can do to fix it or to make it at least shrink. I never know how to stop the pain. All I want is to be Numb. Numb. Being numb would be so much easier to live a life. I wouldn't get attached to someone, I wouldn't be the reason why people are still alive. I wouldn't have to feel a pain in my chest and not be able to properly breathe because I feel people, him especially rather talk to others instead of me.
I wll never be able to love someone again. My heart is basically set on him whether he actually loves me or not. I can't move on even if I want to. I just don't want to be here anymore, the pain is just to much. The only person who makes me happy is someone who basically hardly ever acknowledges my existence and that's the hardest thing of all. I can't be happy anymore. And I never will be.
