Battered Wife

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by itsmecolee

by itsmecolee

Battered wife

It makes me smile whenever I read a story where the guy is inferior or what they call "under" by their wife or girlfriend. How I wish I would be in the same situation.

I have a two years old daughter and a husband. A husband in papers but not in real life. My breakfast are; smack in the face, slaps, curse words, hot coffee in my face and whatever he wants to do at lunch and dinner he is not at home until midnight. Everyday he is drunk. Everyday he smells good. Smell from different women's perfumes.

I know he never loved me. I know he hates me since then. Napikot ko raw siya eh. He even said I ruined his life, his future and his supposedly lovelife with his ex girlfriend. Napilitan lang raw siya pakasalan ako kasi buntis na ako. Everything is a mistake he said. That's why I deserve to receive the consequences by ruining his life, he said.

Maybe you'll say, "Leave him!" It's easy for you to say. But in my part? It's hard. How can I leave the person that I love the most? How can I leave the person that my daughter love the most? I am still waiting for the time that he'll realize that I am important. I am still hoping that someday, his feeling towards will change. You can say I am a masochist for letting him to kill me physically, emotionally and mentally everyday.

But what should I do? I don't want my daughter to grow up from a broken family like what I had. I know how it hurts. She never seen his father hurting me though. His father always do his drill when she is not there because he don't want to look bad in the eyes of his daughter.

He always pat my head whenever he wake up without food in the table or his office uniform is not prepared or his shoes is dirty and etc. Worst, he will spit on my face.

What I can only did before is to cry whenever he is not there. But now, I'm used to it. I'm used to be hurt, degraded, disrespected and treated as an animal. I'm tired of crying. It seems like I don't have tears to fall anymore.

I still believe that someday, he will appreciate me and he will love me back. I am praying every night for that to happen.

I am happy because he is still coming and he is still sleeping beside me. So far, I don't want to ask for more.

I am happy because I have a complete family. :)

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2008
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