The Throne (Prince Harry fanfic #6)

Chapter Four

In the morning, Harry went straight to Buckingham Palace to pick up his children. He desperately needed to get out of the house. He needed to breathe. He needed to think about what to say. However, he was silent again. No words formed in his head. No thoughts collided. He was mildly numb about the whole situation. Perhaps he just didn't want to believe this was happening. This wasn't like he planned-- this wasn't what he wanted.

Harry wanted to be old Harry and Lucy, when it was just them. They met in Africa, and they were happy then. He wanted to be like they were when they started dating, getting to know each other inch by inch. Now they stood miles apart within the same home. They used to be good and healthy. There were days Harry missed Lucy when she was gone for a few hours. All that feeling was still down inside of him, but it was far down.

"The children are just packing up," William said as he joined his younger brother in a red laced room. Harry stared out the window. "How did last night go?"

Swallowing, Harry looked over to his brother, which understood immediately.

"Not well?"

Tears threatened to spill over Harry's eyes, which hadn't happened since the birth of the triplets. However most tears came from Lucy, but usually it was when she was injured. At least that happened recently. Now, the tears burned his eyes, as he pushed them back inside.

William grabbed his younger brother and pulled him into a hug. Sobs escaped Harry's lips as he struggled to breathe under all the weight upon his chest and shoulders. To him, history repeated itself, over and over again. It all happened again. Harry was losing Lucy, but this time, she turned away from him. It was as if all the work had been for nothing.

"What happened?" William asked, always willing to care for his brother. He always meant to protect him.

"I asked Lucy if she wanted a divorce." Harry leaned back on his heels and wiped his eyes.

"What did say?"

"Nothing," Harry said. "She gave no answer. Lucy just started cleaning up the house and she didn't say anything to me. She didn't say no-- she didn't say yes. She cleaned up and then she went to bed."

"She said nothing?"

"All night. And she didn't try to hide anything even. Lucy changed in front of me, like she always does, and she ate in front of me, and she got ready for bed in front of me." His voice cracked. "She left the door open for me to watch, didn't slam it and she wasn't angry. She was calm and still. And then she fell asleep."

"What did you do, Harry?"

"I changed and climbed into bed next to her. I slept next to her."

"What happened this morning?"

"She was gone."

"Did she leave?" William asked. "Did she take anything?"

"No." Harry shook his head. "Lucy--" It pained him to say her name, "Lucy had an event this morning. She was gone when I woke up, because she had the event. I didn't notice anything gone, and she wouldn't just leave the kids."

"I wouldn't be so sure," William said under his breath.

Immediately Harry's eyes widened. Anger boiled in his veins. His brother dared to say this about Lucy, like William always did. William never believed Lucy fit into the monarchy, and sometimes, he made her life hell. "Don't say that about my wife."

"She might not be your wife for very much longer," William went on.

Harry's fists curled at his sides. "If she doesn't want to be my wife, I'll let her go."

This time, William's eyes widened. "You'll let her go? Without a fight? She's free?"

"That's all she's ever wanted: to be free. She just wants to survive."

"She's done that. She's had a comfortable life. She hasn't had any taxes and doesn't need a job. She sits there and looks pretty."

"And that's what she hates, Wills!" Harry took a minute to calm. "You treat her like an alien, like she's less, when she should be welcomed to this family."

"I do what I do to protect this family and the m--"

"And the monarchy," Harry finished. "Well, she is apart of the family and the monarchy, whether or not she and I divorce."

William decided to let it slide. Obviously his brother was in pain. There wasn't a reason to cause more now. "You'll just let her go?"

"I hope she stays," Harry admitted. "I'm going to ask her to stay. I'm going to ask for her to go marriage counseling. I'm going to ask her to be my wife still. I'm going to ask her to be with me, just a little bit longer, and then it can all get better. I'll make it better or I'll do my best trying."

The King of England nodded. "Why will you let her go, Harry?"

"I want to fight for her, Wills. I will fight for her."

"Then why let her go so easily? If she wants a divorce, why let her go? She could take everything, the children and the world."

"She wouldn't do that."

"Harry--"

"She wouldn't do that, Wills. She's not a monster. She is still Lucy, who is caring and compassionate--"

"And a fighter and a survivor."

"I will give her a divorce if she wants a divorce because I owe her that. I owe her her freedom if she wants it."

"You say that as if you've taken it."

"I might as well have," Harry whispered. "She never wanted to be a princess, and she's never been the stereotype. She wasn't made to sit there and look pretty. She was made to lead. She never wanted this life, but she wanted me. She loved me, and she chose me. She put up with this life because of me." Harry blinked new tears out of his eyes. "I want to believe that she still loves me. I want to believe that she still wants to be my wife. I want to believe she still wants to be part of his life. But if she doesn't, if she wants to be free, I won't stand in her way any longer. I'll let her fly."

William watched his brother carefully. "There's something else."

"I don't feel like I am good enough," Harry admitted. "I feel like I was never good enough for her, like I failed her."

"Harry--"

"William, I vowed to have and to hold her, in sickness and health, and I promised to protect her. She doesn't care about the rest, only the protection. For so long, she was so scared, all the time, and she ran. She was never truly safe, and I gave her safety. I failed her that way."

"You haven't failed her."

"Look what has happened since we met each other."

"Lucy was going to get into that trouble whether or not you were there. She's Lucy. She kicks ass and takes names."

"I just feel like there's something I can't protect her from, and it's coming. And I won't be able to save her."

"Like you said, Lucy's a survivor. I'm sure she'll be fine, like always."

There was silence for a full two minutes before William spoke again, slow and steady, quietly, "Is that it? That's it?"

"Yes," Harry answered. "That's it."