Prologue
We didn’t bring Lewis and Clark back from the dead for the expedition that would be mentioned in history books for years to come. That would be just plain disgusting. We (a bunch of scientists from our time) went into a time machine and brought back Lewis and Clark right after their famous expedition. The scientists convinced Lewis and Clark to go in the time machine by saying that they had lost a puppy and that if Lewis and Clark would get in their car, they will be able to help them find it. Luckily, Lewis and Clark were extremely gullible.
Next, we recruited Commander Bob, one of the greatest Commanders of our time. What made him great was that he didn’t let the fact that he was a purple and yellow Betta Fish hold him back from accomplishing his dreams.
We also recruited a dog that had a spacecraft-driving license.
Last but not least, we recruited Ruby, Pharaoh Ocina’s annoying red-haired friend.
And so the Ruby, Lewis, Clark, and maybe Commander Bob expedition began to ally with planets from other galaxies and to try to keep Ruby away for as long as possible. Ruby will be the leader. Lewis will navigate and journal the adventure. Commander Bob will provide military strategies for our allied planets and Clark will sit around, bitch, and read the newspaper.
Merriweather Lewis’s Log-Day 1: Departure
It is the first day of the expedition and already I am giddy with excitement. The other expeditioners and I left with Pharaoh Ocina’s good wishes and hopes that Ruby will stay away for a long time while the Rolling Stones played in the background. Then we all loaded the ship except for the Pharaoh and her stuffed animal cheetah that will rule the earth after she dies. The dog went in last of all because he has his own doggy door.
We walked into the control room of the ship where we all took our respective seats. I sat in the navigator’s chair. Ruby took the captain’s seat in the middle. The dog sat in the pilot’s seat but Clark had to put some phonebooks on it so the dog could reach the steering wheel (he is a beagle). Clark sat in his La-z-boy recliner off to the side and Commander Bob had his fishbowl put on a table somewhere.
“Where are we going first?” I asked Ruby.
“I don’t know,” she replied. “We’ll just keep going until we see a planet. Dog, start the ship!”
The dog barked and hit a big red button with his paw and with a jolt, we were off.
So our adventure begins.
Day 2: Planet Trog
We landed somewhere! Or more like crashed.
Everyone was asleep in the middle of the night when we heard a crash and the spaceship shook. I ran to the control room to see what the matter was. Ruby and the dog were already there.
“I think we landed somewhere,” Ruby said.
“No duh,” Clark snapped as he walked into the control room.
The dog barked.
“I guess we should explore the planet we landed on,” I suggested.
“Whatever,” Ruby said so everyone put on their spacesuits and walked out of the ship except for the dog who wanted to stay to repair the ship.
