Missingfur: I give up.
Velvetpaw: Um, what?
Missingfur: Every time I create a plan, it fails. So I'm not going to create a plan! *snaps non-existent fingers in a 'ta-da' motion*
Velvetpaw: . . . so you've tried killing Normalstar. You've tried having a break. You've tried killing Sparkwhisker. And now you're going to do nothing?
Missingfur: *nods* Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.
Velvetpaw: *groans* Well, I'm not going to collect your welfare checks when this show stops bringing you in one penny per hour.
Missingfur: But you promised you would!
Velvetpaw: *rolls eyes* I never did. Now, have fun being unemployed!
Missingfur: Fine! I'll toss a chainsaw at Sparkwhisker, chop his face off, then use Sparkwhisker's blood to drown Normalstar.
Rainbownose: *pads over to the pair* Whatcha talkin' about? *cheery voice*
Missingfur: Oh, just how I want to kill Sparkwhisker. And Normalstar. And you. And sometimes Velvetpaw *glares at his apprentice*
Velvetpaw: *glares back*
Rainbownose: How fun! Is there a way I could help you out?
Missingfur: You could just put some cyanide into Normalstar's squirrel.
Rainbownose: *chuckles lightly* Funny joke, Missingfur! He's allergic to squirrels, but immune to cyanide!
Missingfur: *eyes widen* Yeah, uh, such a joke. . . is he allergic to any other prey?
Rainbownose: *tilts her head* Well, I know he's allergic to tansy as well. *glances at watch* Oops! Gotta go! Bai!
Missingfur: *turns to Velvetpaw with an evil grin.*
Velvetpaw: Look at the chapter title, you dummy. You can't have a plan!
Missingfur: But. . . but I want to have a plan.
Velvetpaw: *smug expression* Then you shouldn't have decided not create a plan.
Missingfur: Does running around wildly count as a plan?
Velvetpaw: If you plan to run around wildly, then it does count. But if you do it without any thought, I wouldn't consider it a—
Missingfur explodes off the ground and starts bolting around camp. He runs over Sparkwhisker, who spits a sunflower seed at him.
Velvetpaw: Uh, what are you doing?
Missingfur: *stops running* Running around wildly because I'm bored.
Velvetpaw: You're weird.
Missingfur: *shrugs* I know. *starts running again.*
Velvetpaw pulls out her iPhone and starts recording Missingfur as he runs around camp. The tom manages to run into Tallshadow, who doesn't care, Flamepaw, who is trying to wake up the sleeping Normalstar, and Butterfly, who is eating a squirrel.
Missingfur: *finally stops running* Need. . . inhaler. . . now
Velvetpaw: You don't even have asthma. You're just a wimp.
Missingfur: *tosses a cactus at her*
Velvetpaw: *catches it and throws it at Normalstar*
Flamepaw: WHY ARE YOU PLAYING CATCH WITH A CACTUS 0.0
Normalstar: *is hit by the cactus and starts bleeding*
Rainbownose, hearing the commotion, pads out of the warrior's den. She spots the bleeding leader, the red-faced Flamepaw (though that might be because of his ginger fur), and an innocent looking Velvetpaw.
Rainbownose: My, my! What happened here?
Velvetpaw: *casually* Flamepaw threw a cactus at Normalstar.
Flamepaw: I did not!
Rainbownose: *clicks her tongue* Why would you do such a thing?
Flamepaw: I DIDN'T DO IT! It was Velvetpaw and Missingfur.
Normalstar takes a deep breath and heaves himself into a sitting position.
Normalstar: I don't know who did it, but it's all okay now!
Rainbownose: Alright, Normalstar! Would you like to go out for cupcakes?
Normalstar: Of course!
Rainbownose and Normalstar pad out of camp, leaving a still-shocked Flamepaw with the devious pair.
Missingfur: *turns to his apprentice* No plans! I thought we weren't doing plans!
Velvetpaw: No, you aren't doing plans. And I didn't plan to throw a cactus at him. I just did it. Spur of the moment. A flash of creativity.
Tallshadow: *in a bored voice* Well, I'm leaving. This is boring. *pads out of camp*
Missingfur: -_______-
⌁ Brought to you by your third-favorite admin, Rio! ⌁
YOU ARE READING
I May or May Not Have an Evil Plan
Юмор[Cover and concept by Frostfire] Welcome to our new show, hosted by Missingfur, who may or may not be planning to take over the world.
