Heartbreak (One Shot)

- b r e a k -

The first time I saw you, there weren't any feelings involved. To me, you were just a stranger in the street just passing by. My eyes filled with emptiness that always resided within me. I grew used to it of course. But I didn't expect you'd be coming into my life unexpectedly, just to shake up my one peaceful world that belonged to my heart. We greeted each other of course, your smile was quite the view. And your small laughs and chuckles were cute. Although I haven't felt anything yet that time.

For a short amount of time, we became such close friends, but not enough to call ourselves best friends to be exact. You and I always hung out, getting ourselves coffee and bickering playfully. You would always tease me and play with my hair; one of the things I loved about you. You would always flush red when I called you cute over the smallest things. You were also shy at that time. But you slowly opened up to me. I felt really happy just being with you. I really did.

I would often ask myself, "do I even like this guy?" And of course, I always shrugged every single hint that dropped showing that I somehow liked you. Our friendship was running ever so smoothly, I came to know you more. Our friends even started teasing the both of us! We would always laugh it out. I miss the good times.

Months and months passed by and we still knew each other, we still were close to each other. Surprisingly enough, we didn't fight at all. This friendship of ours...I really thought they would last for a long time. The ties that once bonded the both of us together suddenly took a turn, as my feelings for you soon began to change slowly. It wasn't affecting you though, I chose to keep it a secret between myself only. I didn't want to be a burden.

I chose to still go on with this friendship of ours. Everything was running so smoothly, how could I even ruin it?

My heart would always skip a beat when I see you, I couldn't stop my racing heart. I couldn't stop seeing your smile and hearing the way you laugh. I kept our bond close to my beating heart as time passes by. The palpitations went on even after bidding goodbye to you whenever I'd go home. Instead of thinking you don't feel the same way as I feel, I think about the times you and I spent talking and laughing at each other. It made me happy for awhile, before turning myself into a bittersweet human being by the thoughts of you just appearing onto my mind. I tossed around my bed, trying to get my sleep but I couldn't. Blaming it on you, I guess.

Every morning I would find a reason to wake up, a reason to keep on living no matter what hardships I go through. The thought of just seeing you makes me excited. I thank the Gods for having you go to the same college I attend in. Even the same course and class. It makes me unknowingly smile just knowing your presence. I choose not to let my heart out. I didn't want to ask for somebody's advice or help, knowing I wouldn't be able to take it at all. But I would always ask myself, "what made me like you?"

I reprimanded myself for having to ever like you. Every single day my heart wouldn't stop pounding against my chest. A smile spreading across my lips uncontrollably when we talk to each other. I always hid it with the personality I had when I wasn't this much of a wreck; when I didn't like you back then. You asked me what was wrong when I fell silent. I always excused myself for another reason when the truth lied in my heart. I contemplated over my feelings. My overflowing feelings never seemed to have stopped pouring out. I really wanted to apologize to you, but I didn't have the guts to do so. Let alone confess to you.

Every passing day I felt like I was being tortured by my own feelings for you. The feeling of not having to embrace you by my own felt like a train smashing into my heart. But when you did however pull me into an embrace you call as a friendly one, I would feel bittersweet. I was still pleased, that you had the guts to hug a girl like me. But I often think I'm just another best or close friend to you. We did everything that best friends would do. But did I tell you that, being such a close friend to someone the opposite sex, starts a feeling you wouldn't expect? The feeling of having to fall in love.